Train Your Nervous System Like an Athlete - Lukis Mac

Episode 91 · Dec 11, 2025 · 1h 36m · with Lukis Mac

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About this episode

Transform Your Life: Master Your Breath & Rewire Your Survival Programming In this powerful conversation, we delve into the profound impact of breathwork and somatic awareness on your daily life, stress management, and ultimate success. Our guest, a world-renowned facilitator, shares his journey of overcoming deep personal trauma—including the suicide of his father—and how he used inner work to completely transform his identity and achieve an empowered life. Key Takeaways You Will Learn: Why Breath Work is so Powerful Conquering the Stress Response The 4-Step Pattern Interrupt Rewiring Limiting Beliefs High-Achiever Strategies: Hear how these principles are applied to support top performers like Travis Barker (overcoming trauma to fly again) and Jake Paul (using mental rehearsal and visualization to strive for world-champion status). This is more than just information; it is a blueprint for taking the driver's seat of your own life, moving beyond unconscious reactions, and becoming the architect of your reality. Stop waiting for external validation and start embodying your future self NOW. #KassidyWarren https://www.instagram.com/kassidy.warren https://www.linkedin.com/in/kassidywarren #LukisMac https://www.instagram.com/lukismac/ Watch #ForYourOwnGood on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KassidyWarren

Key moments

0:05:02 “the first thing I was talking about is breath work in daily life.”
0:09:16 “a lot of people are keeping them limited, themselves limited because they're not actually doing the...”
0:10:06 “in the deeper therapeutic work, when you're working with your breath, the first thing that's happening...”
0:12:36 “what do you say to the people that are the high achievers, the CEOs, the executives,...”
0:26:00 “It could be a threat of I'm not going to be able to do this.”
0:26:50 “even being aware that I'm actually not at my maximum capacity or maximum achievement, is that...”
0:45:24 “What do you want to do?”
0:49:39 “it was always there for me.”

Read the full transcript

Auto-generated from the episode captions; may contain small errors.

0:00:00You're like the healer to the stars. How

0:00:01do people like Jake Paul and Travis

0:00:03Barker approach healing?

0:00:05>> With Travis Barker, he had been in a

0:00:07[music] horrific plane accident. So, he

0:00:09spent 10 years of his life not flying.

0:00:10Fear was holding him back from flying

0:00:12again. [music] When I met Travis, he

0:00:14wanted to fly again. With Jake Paul, he

0:00:16wants to become a world champion. He's

0:00:18really dedicated and a lot of people see

0:00:20him as [music] a YouTuber. People have

0:00:21no idea about Jake and what he's going

0:00:24to achieve in the future. Why does

0:00:26breath work reveal parts of ourselves

0:00:28that we don't even know [music] exist?

0:00:30>> We can change our state through our

0:00:31breath. You become more empowered and

0:00:33connected to yourself. Things will be

0:00:34happening in the present moment that

0:00:35will be re-triggering things.

0:00:37>> I've done different breath work, but

0:00:38yours [music] in particular has kind of

0:00:41transported me into like another

0:00:42dimension. Actually,

0:00:43>> breath work is just one tool. It's one

0:00:45part of the work. Our thoughts influence

0:00:47how we feel and how we feel influences

0:00:49our behavior.

0:00:50>> Why is it important that [music] we

0:00:51access this stuff from our past?

0:00:53>> Well, the body holds the score. you

0:00:54become more empowered and connected to

0:00:56yourself. Most people are avoiding their

0:00:58feelings. Their emotions have power over

0:01:00them.

0:01:00>> How do we become the architects of our

0:01:02lives?

0:01:03>> I use a four-step process. The first

0:01:04thing is a

0:01:14and we're just setting our intention

0:01:15that we both speak clearly

0:01:18and we bring through anything that needs

0:01:20to be brought through for the highest

0:01:22good to help create a positive impact in

0:01:24a way that's right for the listener in a

0:01:26way that resonates with them in a way

0:01:28that's not just information but they can

0:01:30actually apply it and create real shifts

0:01:33in their

0:01:34in whatever way they need to.

0:01:38>> My intention is to add value to the

0:01:40audience, create a belief in themselves

0:01:43that anything is possible, identify the

0:01:45gaps in a loving way, and support

0:01:47themselves in their dreams and their

0:01:48transformation, and be able to take

0:01:50aligned action with whatever that means

0:01:52for them.

0:01:55So, it is.

0:01:59Lucas, why does breath work reveal parts

0:02:02of ourselves that we don't even know

0:02:04exist? What is it about breath work that

0:02:07allows us

0:02:09to become a different version of

0:02:11ourselves?

0:02:11>> Well, yeah. Your breath is a function of

0:02:13your autonomic nervous system. Meaning,

0:02:16it's an automatic response in the body.

0:02:18So, as you're going through daily life,

0:02:19you're not thinking about your

0:02:20breathing, right? You're just existing.

0:02:22But it's one of the functions of the

0:02:24body that we can take conscious control

0:02:26of. Meaning we can take control of our

0:02:28physiology. We can change our state

0:02:30through our breath. And knowing that is

0:02:33a superpower because when the brain

0:02:36detects threats, the amygdala and the

0:02:39nervous system initiate an instantaneous

0:02:43danger response and your body goes into

0:02:46fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. And it's

0:02:48automatic. And when that happens, you're

0:02:50no longer in the driver's seat. You're

0:02:52not no longer in control of your

0:02:54reactions. You're taken over by your

0:02:56survival programming and your breath

0:02:58becomes shallow. Your heart starts

0:03:01increasing. Your perception gets

0:03:03narrowed on the threat. And the threat

0:03:05could be something that's in your

0:03:07environment. It could be physical. It

0:03:09could be social. It could be emotional.

0:03:11It could be your thoughts. It could be

0:03:14imagined. But your brain and your body

0:03:16doesn't know the difference between

0:03:17what's real and imagined. So as you're

0:03:19going into this stress response, whether

0:03:22it's either fight, flight, freeze, or

0:03:23fawn, you're losing control of yourself,

0:03:25you're losing connection to your most

0:03:27empowered self. So your breath supports

0:03:29you to create a pattern interruption and

0:03:32bring your attention, energy, and focus

0:03:36back to you. And in that space where you

0:03:39can downregulate and allow yourself to

0:03:43come back into the present moment, you

0:03:45take control of your physiology. And

0:03:47when that happens, you're back in the

0:03:49driver's seat. You you have power over

0:03:51your mind and you have power over your

0:03:53body. And most people are losing

0:03:55themselves throughout the day a million

0:03:57different times, reacting to their

0:03:59environment, reacting to what's

0:04:00happening, and they just feel out of

0:04:02control in so many different ways. And

0:04:04as this hap as this is happening

0:04:06throughout the day and people are losing

0:04:08themselves then

0:04:10they're really influenced

0:04:13by their environment and what's

0:04:15happening around them. And for a lot of

0:04:18people they feel powerless to be able to

0:04:22make a difference to take control in the

0:04:25areas where they need to. And there's a

0:04:30lack of connection to themselves and

0:04:32their own desires. So breath work is a

0:04:35tool that supports us to have more

0:04:37connection to ourselves to understand

0:04:39our own patterns and responses in the

0:04:41way that we're showing up and ultimately

0:04:44change the way that we're responding to

0:04:46life, the meaning that we're making and

0:04:49the response that we're having in the

0:04:50moment. And from that place, we can just

0:04:53live a more empowered life. That's

0:04:55there's many different layers to it, but

0:04:57I'd say that's the best place to start.

0:04:59And then it goes a lot deeper than that.

0:05:01And so the breath work that we're

0:05:02talking about is not just breathing

0:05:04normally every day. The and I've done

0:05:06different breath work, but yours in

0:05:08particular has kind of transported me

0:05:11into like another dimension actually

0:05:13like and when we talked about it, it was

0:05:15my quantum self, my quantum identity

0:05:18that I was visualizing and seeing. And

0:05:20so what is happening in my body when I'm

0:05:24visualizing this version of myself

0:05:27>> just from doing breath work?

0:05:29>> It's a good question. And so the first

0:05:31thing I was talking about is breath work

0:05:32in daily life. Becoming more aware of

0:05:34your breath and how you're responding to

0:05:36certain situations. Like if you notice

0:05:38that you're in a stress response and

0:05:40your breath is shallow and you're

0:05:41breathing more up in your chest and

0:05:43you're just reacting to life, then that

0:05:45means you're in a stress response and

0:05:47you're operating in survival and you're

0:05:49no longer in the driver's seat. So at

0:05:51that point you can use simple breath

0:05:52breath work techniques to regulate your

0:05:54system to downregulate into your

0:05:56parasympathetic nervous system and just

0:05:58bring yourself back into the present

0:06:00moment. So that's like stage one. That's

0:06:02the foundations. And then what you're

0:06:04talking about is the deeper therapeutic

0:06:06work where we go into a journey. And

0:06:09that journey might be 60 minutes to 90

0:06:11minutes using our breath to access a

0:06:12non-ordinary a non-ordinary state of

0:06:15consciousness. And when you do that

0:06:17you're shifting your brain waves. One of

0:06:20the things that's happening is you're

0:06:21moving outside your default mode

0:06:23network. And it's the part of the brain

0:06:25that is associated with your ego

0:06:27identity with your personality. So as

0:06:30you're downregulating that part of your

0:06:33brain, you're also upregulating or

0:06:35accessing more of your lyic system,

0:06:37which is the part of your brain that

0:06:38processes memory and emotion. So things

0:06:42from the past that haven't been felt and

0:06:44processed, memory, emotion, things that

0:06:47you've been through that you haven't

0:06:48been able to process, that the body is

0:06:50still holding on to basically come up to

0:06:52the surface to be felt, to be processed

0:06:55and let go of. And when you're in that

0:06:57state, you have access to more

0:06:59information. You have access to

0:07:00understand yourself in your own patterns

0:07:02and to to think about life in a

0:07:05different way in a way that you're not

0:07:06usually thinking about life because

0:07:08you're accessing your subconscious mind.

0:07:10Your brain waves are shifting. You're

0:07:12moving beyond your ego your ego identity

0:07:15and you're just opening up your

0:07:16perception to understand yourself on a

0:07:18deeper level. And from there it's like

0:07:20more revealed to you about yourself and

0:07:22it's all it's all you. It's coming

0:07:23through you and you're just

0:07:25understanding things on that deeper

0:07:26level. So it's a powerful tool to create

0:07:28those deeper shifts. So why is it

0:07:30important that we access those old

0:07:32memories? Why is it important that we

0:07:34access this stuff from our past through

0:07:36breath work?

0:07:37>> Well, the body holds the score. So

0:07:39whatever you've been through in the past

0:07:41that's unresolved, your body is still

0:07:43holding on to it. And that starts to

0:07:45impact the way you show up. It starts to

0:07:47impact what you believe is possible,

0:07:49what you can create. Because all of

0:07:52these unexpressed emotions and energy

0:07:55and the things that you've been through

0:07:56in your life are also connected to your

0:07:59survival programming. And a part of your

0:08:01survival programming is limiting

0:08:02beliefs. Things that you believe about

0:08:05yourself based on things that you've

0:08:06been through and meaning that you made

0:08:09that is now not based in truth. It's

0:08:11based on a limiting idea, a limiting

0:08:13perception that you have about yourself,

0:08:16others, and the world. And all of that

0:08:18can be holding you back from actually

0:08:19moving forward and creating what you

0:08:21want. I know your listeners would have

0:08:23had this experience before. You might

0:08:25have a goal, something you're trying to

0:08:26create in your life. And you know what

0:08:28you need to be doing, but there's some

0:08:30part of you that is still operating in

0:08:33fear. You might be imagining worst case

0:08:35scenarios. You might be feeling like you

0:08:37can't do it. You might be focused on it.

0:08:40Maybe it's too hard or feeling like you

0:08:42might fail or you're not going to be

0:08:44successful. Well, all of that's tied

0:08:46into your survival programming and that

0:08:49can be either be working for you or

0:08:51against you. So, one of the I guess

0:08:54massive huge benefits of doing this type

0:08:56of deep work is you start to become more

0:08:59aware of yourself and your own patterns

0:09:01and anything that is limiting in nature

0:09:03and holding you back from actually

0:09:04stepping forward and creating what you

0:09:06want. So, it's like you're removing the

0:09:08blocks, you're releasing the past,

0:09:10you're clearing, you're letting things

0:09:12go, and you're understanding your own

0:09:13patterns and your own beliefs. And then

0:09:16from there, you get to look at anything

0:09:17that's limiting in nature, and you get

0:09:19to transform it. And you get to

0:09:21reprogram your brain and your nervous

0:09:22system through the process, which makes

0:09:24you unstoppable. So, a lot of people are

0:09:27keeping them limited, themselves limited

0:09:29because they're not actually doing the

0:09:31inner work. They might be focused on

0:09:32action, action, action, action. And

0:09:34action is really, really, really

0:09:36important. But if your beliefs and your

0:09:38nervous system aren't aligned with what

0:09:41you want, then you're going to

0:09:42self-sabotage. You're going to go two

0:09:44steps forward, one step back. You're

0:09:46going to procrastinate. You're going to

0:09:47hold yourself back. You're going to be

0:09:49in this thinking feeling loop where fear

0:09:51and self-doubt and resistance are

0:09:53actually running the show. So that's the

0:09:55benefits of doing this type of work. You

0:09:57become more empowered and connected to

0:09:59yourself. And

0:09:59>> so what is physically happening? I know

0:10:01you described it a little bit, but like

0:10:02what is physically happening? And I

0:10:03think a lot of people are afraid or they

0:10:05don't know. And even me when we've

0:10:06worked together, I know that I've held

0:10:08back a little bit because I can feel

0:10:10something happening. I can I can feel

0:10:13that I'm losing control a little bit of

0:10:14what's going on.

0:10:15>> But then the times where I like went all

0:10:17in, when I well when I didn't let go or

0:10:19I wasn't in my head, that's when the

0:10:21changes happened. That's when the like

0:10:23deep sessions occurred. And so like what

0:10:26like what is actually happening?

0:10:28>> Yeah. Well, in the deeper therapeutic

0:10:29work, when you're working with your

0:10:31breath, the first thing that's happening

0:10:32is you're activating your sympathetic

0:10:34nervous system. So, your sympathetic

0:10:36nervous system is connected to your

0:10:38stress responses, you know, fight or

0:10:39flight. So, you're actively going into

0:10:42this state where you're starting to

0:10:44activate your body. So, as you breathe,

0:10:47your body converts your breath into

0:10:48energy. So, you start to physically feel

0:10:50that energy through tingling or buzzing

0:10:52or different vibration sensations in

0:10:54your body. And then yeah, you're

0:10:56activating different parts of your brain

0:10:57like your lyic system where emotions and

0:10:59memory can come up to be processed. So

0:11:02as that's happening, you're kind of just

0:11:03allowing things to come up and you're

0:11:06giving yourself permission to feel

0:11:07things because for a lot of us, there's

0:11:09certain emotions that we haven't felt

0:11:11safe to be with. That could be sadness

0:11:13or grief or anger or whatever it might

0:11:15be. So we we shove them down. We

0:11:17suppress them. We use coping mechanisms.

0:11:19But when you're using your breath in a

0:11:21deeper therapeutic breath work journey,

0:11:23you're saying to yourself, you know,

0:11:25hey, I'm ready to look at whatever I've

0:11:27been holding on to that's holding me

0:11:29back. And you're giving yourself

0:11:30permission to feel what's naturally

0:11:32arising. And it can be uncomfortable,

0:11:34like you said, because things can be

0:11:36coming up to the surface that maybe have

0:11:38felt unsafe to be with or have felt

0:11:40uncomfortable or you've just been

0:11:41resisting and avoiding. And through that

0:11:44process, you're no longer doing that.

0:11:46You're giving yourself permission to do

0:11:47it. And it can be a little bit of an

0:11:49internal battle like you said that

0:11:51resistance can come up like I'm not sure

0:11:53if I want to feel this. I don't know if

0:11:55I want to be with this. That's a part of

0:11:57the process, right? You're just moving

0:11:58through it and you're giving your

0:12:00conscious and unconscious mind

0:12:01permission to be with what's there. And

0:12:03then the breakthroughs start happening

0:12:05because as you feel things, you process

0:12:07things and you let things go. Then

0:12:09you're opening up more space in your

0:12:11awareness and your body to understand

0:12:12yourself on a deeper level. And it's all

0:12:14coming through you. you know, the

0:12:15breakthroughs, the the releases, the

0:12:18pattern recognition, the things that

0:12:20you're becoming aware of, it's all

0:12:21through you. And that's one of the

0:12:23reasons I like it so much. It's not

0:12:25something outside of you. It's you

0:12:27connecting to yourself, using your

0:12:28breath and your awareness to understand

0:12:30yourself on a deeper level. And yeah,

0:12:32it's amazing some of the shifts that can

0:12:34happen in 60 minutes. Like, it's

0:12:36unbelievable what you can create and the

0:12:38changes you can make within 60 minutes.

0:12:40It's really mind-blowing. And so what do

0:12:42you say to the people that are the high

0:12:44achievers, the CEOs, the executives, the

0:12:46the multi-millionaires,

0:12:49all the successful people that have, you

0:12:51know, grinded it out. They've figured

0:12:52out a way. They're always taking action

0:12:54and they hear what you're saying and

0:12:57they look at you, this, you know, this

0:12:58tattooed guy with the grills and

0:13:00everything and they're like, "What is he

0:13:01talking about? This doesn't make any

0:13:02sense. There's no way that this means

0:13:03anything. That's just woowoo. That's

0:13:05BS." What do you say to those people

0:13:07that are actionoriented CEO types that

0:13:10don't believe in breath work or healing

0:13:12traumas of the past?

0:13:13>> Yeah. No, that's a great question. Well,

0:13:15the cool thing is I work with a lot of

0:13:16those people and I help them with stress

0:13:18management first and foremost. So,

0:13:20there's so much that they understand

0:13:23about themselves and their own stress

0:13:25responses through this work that can be

0:13:27life-changing. So, they're no longer

0:13:29just reacting unconsciously to what's

0:13:31happening. They're responding in a more

0:13:33empowering way. So that's the first

0:13:34step, understanding your stress

0:13:36responses. Then when we go into the

0:13:37deeper therapeutic work, it's looking at

0:13:40defining moments, things that they've

0:13:42been through in their past that have

0:13:44shaped them that might be limiting in

0:13:46nature. It doesn't matter how successful

0:13:48they are on, you know, in this material

0:13:50world, there's always new levels that we

0:13:52can all access. So what do they want?

0:13:55And where have they been holding

0:13:57themselves back or where do they feel

0:13:58limited or where do they feel stuck or

0:14:01where do they feel like there's a

0:14:02plateau? And wherever that is, we can

0:14:05look at their survival responses. We can

0:14:08look at limiting beliefs. We can look at

0:14:10things from the past that might be

0:14:11haven't been processed. And then we can

0:14:13start to create a breakthroughs in those

0:14:14areas. And as we create a breakthroughs

0:14:17in those areas, then they can start to

0:14:19access more energy flow. And as we start

0:14:22to access more energy flow in our body,

0:14:24we have more energy to show up and take

0:14:27more aligned action. we have more

0:14:30control over our physiology, the way

0:14:31we're showing up on a daily basis, the

0:14:33way we're responding to life. So when

0:14:35setbacks happen, when things don't go

0:14:37our way, when things feel like they're

0:14:38misaligned or things aren't working out,

0:14:40we're not just reacting to things in a

0:14:43disempowering way. No, we feel empowered

0:14:45in the moment and we move through it. We

0:14:47shift course, we realign, we take

0:14:49action, we show up in a different way,

0:14:51and it's it's a more empowering way of

0:14:53being. So that's where I help them and

0:14:56it's all based around what they want and

0:14:59where they're going and any areas of

0:15:01their life that they're felt blocked.

0:15:02And then another area is connection to

0:15:04the spiritual as well. And obviously

0:15:07everyone has different beliefs around

0:15:08that and everyone has their own

0:15:10spiritual connection in some way.

0:15:13And for a lot of people, they get to

0:15:15this point where they realize that

0:15:17they've been taking so much action and

0:15:19they've crushed their goals and their

0:15:22life around them has so successful in

0:15:25the material realm, but it hasn't led to

0:15:27happiness. They have everything they

0:15:28want, but they're not happy. So now

0:15:31what? So that's the time to turn

0:15:33inwards. That's the time to get real

0:15:35with yourself and look at how you're

0:15:36feeling and look at what you want moving

0:15:39forward and work on the the internal

0:15:42aspect of that which then creates real

0:15:44results in the physical. So that's what

0:15:46I how I support them.

0:15:48>> When I came to you,

0:15:51I was like sort of like I don't know

0:15:52what else to do. I I had taken so much

0:15:54action in my life and I had created

0:15:56businesses and things that I had done

0:15:57and I felt some level of success, but I

0:16:00just kept feeling like I was hitting a

0:16:02ceiling and I didn't know what else to

0:16:03do. And so I was on this journey of like

0:16:04let me go try everything. And growing up

0:16:06I I had some access to alternative ways

0:16:09of being and doing, right? So I was sort

0:16:10of aware of different things. Like I I

0:16:12didn't know exactly what breath work

0:16:14was, but like I had been exposed to

0:16:15different things as a kid. I feel like

0:16:17there's so many people out there that

0:16:18have no idea that this even exists or

0:16:21that they're not even aware that they're

0:16:23hitting a ceiling or they're not even

0:16:25aware that they're not fulfilled or

0:16:27happy. Like when someone comes to you,

0:16:29are they ready? Are they resistant? or

0:16:31like how does how does someone that's at

0:16:33the top at the top become aware that

0:16:35this is even available and it would be a

0:16:38benefit to them.

0:16:38>> It's all based on what they want. So

0:16:40based on what they want and where

0:16:42they're at in their life and what they

0:16:43want to create next, like you said, you

0:16:45can get to this point where you just

0:16:47feel stuck. You don't you don't know

0:16:48where to go to next. And for a lot of

0:16:51people, there's things from the past

0:16:53that they're still carrying around.

0:16:54there's things that they haven't dealt

0:16:56with and they've just been suppressing

0:16:58or they get to the point where those

0:17:00things are naturally coming up and it

0:17:02might be coming out in the way they

0:17:03interact with people. It might be coming

0:17:05out in their relationship. It might be

0:17:07coming up through things falling away,

0:17:10things falling apart. Um, you know,

0:17:12things not going their way, things

0:17:14basically turning to [ __ ] And at that

0:17:17point in time, where do you turn to?

0:17:20Right? And there's so many different

0:17:21modalities out there. And I think for a

0:17:23lot of people who find breath work or

0:17:25sematic therapy or other form of this

0:17:27type of work and there's many then they

0:17:30do it from a place of wanting to

0:17:32understand themselves and wanting to

0:17:34make change. And I think that's the

0:17:36place to start and that's the people

0:17:37that benefit the most from this type of

0:17:39work. People who are ready for change.

0:17:41If you're not ready for change then

0:17:43you're probably not ready for this work.

0:17:44But if you are ready for change then

0:17:46this work can support you to create

0:17:48massive shifts in your life. And those

0:17:51shifts will ripple out into every area

0:17:53of your life because you're working on

0:17:55the deepest parts of you. You're working

0:17:56on your survival programming. You're

0:17:58working on, you know, your beliefs.

0:18:00You're working on regulating your

0:18:01nervous system. You're working on

0:18:03rewiring your brain. When you do that

0:18:05type of work, then every area of your

0:18:07life starts to shift for the better.

0:18:09>> When I talked to my wife about some of

0:18:10this stuff and and enrolling in some

0:18:12other things that we've been doing, she

0:18:14told me one of the reasons she was

0:18:17resistant was she didn't want to feel

0:18:19her emotions.

0:18:21Is that a common theme in people that

0:18:23you that you meet? And like even being

0:18:25aware that you're not feeling your

0:18:27emotions or you're not processing them.

0:18:28>> Most people are avoiding their feelings.

0:18:31Most people are turning to coping

0:18:33mechanisms to avoid their feelings, but

0:18:36they have a disempowered relationship

0:18:38with their emotions. Their emotions have

0:18:40power over them. So from that place,

0:18:43they don't feel empowered to feel, to

0:18:46process, and let go of things. So

0:18:49they're holding on. on. They're bracing.

0:18:50They're suppressing. And in that state,

0:18:53they don't have an empowered

0:18:54relationship with themselves or their

0:18:57emotions. The the moment you find safety

0:18:59with feeling your emotions, you process

0:19:02them and you let them go. You realize

0:19:04that emotions are just moving through

0:19:05you. They're not something to hold on

0:19:07to. And when you find that place of

0:19:09empowerment with within yourself to be

0:19:11with whatever it is, anger, rage,

0:19:13sadness, frustration, and let it move

0:19:15through you, then you feel so good

0:19:18because it's it no longer has any power

0:19:20of you. You know that you can take

0:19:22control of you, your physiology. You

0:19:24know that you can process emotions. You

0:19:26know, you can let things go. It doesn't

0:19:28matter what you're going through in your

0:19:29life. You bring the power back to

0:19:31yourself. And from that place, you're

0:19:33free. And yeah, a lot of people aren't

0:19:35there. A lot of people are cycling

0:19:37through the pleasure or pain cycle. So

0:19:39they go through there's something I

0:19:41don't want to feel, so I'll avoid it.

0:19:44I'll stay busy. I'll turn to a coping

0:19:46mechanism. A coping mechanism could be

0:19:48anything, right? It could be scrolling

0:19:49on your phone. It could be emotional

0:19:51eating. It could be pornography. That's

0:19:54a big one for men these days. I work

0:19:56with a lot of clients who are really

0:19:57stuck in these cycles. So there's

0:19:59something uncomfortable that I don't

0:20:00want to feel. So, I'm reaching for

0:20:02something externally outside myself to

0:20:04find a temporary sense of relief from

0:20:06how I'm feeling internally, right? It

0:20:09might be I want to soo myself. I want to

0:20:11find joy or pleasure because these

0:20:13feelings I they don't feel good. I don't

0:20:15want to be with them. I want to avoid

0:20:17them. So, I'm trying to find a temporary

0:20:18sense of relief. But recognizing

0:20:21reaching outside of yourself for a

0:20:23temporary sense of relief is only

0:20:25temporary. It's a loop that you get

0:20:27stuck in. And most people get stuck in

0:20:29that loop. And that's why most people

0:20:31are addicted to coping mechanisms

0:20:33because there's they're avoiding. And

0:20:35when you're in that state of avoiding,

0:20:36then you're not you're not in your

0:20:38power.

0:20:38>> Yeah. I gave up vaping.

0:20:41It was after Wow. It was just it was not

0:20:44a healthy habit. But I realized that it

0:20:46was a coping mechanism. And I had heard

0:20:47that term before, but I didn't really

0:20:49realize it until I was in it and be

0:20:51like, "Oh yeah, this is I'm turning to

0:20:52this as a coping mechanism." And I was

0:20:53avoiding feeling my emotions. And same

0:20:56thing with scrolling, avoiding feeling

0:20:57your emotions. the distractions in

0:20:59everyday life are people avoiding

0:21:01feeling emotions just sitting and being

0:21:03with themselves.

0:21:04>> Yeah. And you said it beautifully too.

0:21:05We don't we're not aware that that's

0:21:07what we're doing because we're not

0:21:08conscious in that moment. We've become

0:21:10unconscious. We're in these autopilot

0:21:13stress responses whether that's fight,

0:21:16flight, freeze or fawn. So we go we go

0:21:18unconscious in these stress responses.

0:21:20We don't even know that we're responding

0:21:22this way. It's a blind spot when we're

0:21:23in it. And then the coping mechanisms a

0:21:26blind spot. You're just turning to these

0:21:28things because you want to feel good.

0:21:30You might not even be aware that that's

0:21:32how you're coping. You might not even be

0:21:33aware that you're in a stress response,

0:21:35but this is what happens when you start

0:21:37to do the work. You become more aware of

0:21:39yourself and your own responses. And

0:21:41from there, with, you know, with

0:21:42awareness comes choice. So, you can

0:21:44choose again and you can interrupt these

0:21:45patterns and you can, you know,

0:21:47ultimately have more power and control

0:21:49over your mind and your body.

0:21:51>> Yeah. With awareness comes choice,

0:21:52right? Because once you're aware, you

0:21:54get to decide which direction. You

0:21:56either stay in pain and discomfort of

0:21:58your current reality or you go through

0:22:00the work, which you might see as pain

0:22:02and discomfort, but really it's just the

0:22:04work and it's processing emotions and

0:22:05getting through it to then go to the

0:22:07other side where there is fulfillment

0:22:08and happiness and you know there's going

0:22:10to be more work. There's going to be

0:22:11more on the other side. But um

0:22:14awareness, it really does start with

0:22:15awareness.

0:22:16>> Yeah, awareness is everything. Awareness

0:22:17is the first stage because without

0:22:19awareness then you're just unconscious

0:22:20to your own patterns. So you're just

0:22:22existing and living life the way it is

0:22:24and you have no idea of your own

0:22:27patterns and how you're showing up and

0:22:28how you're responding. And that's where

0:22:30a lot of people are.

0:22:31>> And so you mentioned I've heard of fight

0:22:33or flight but what is well what's fight

0:22:37freeze or fawn?

0:22:38>> Yeah. So when your body perceives a

0:22:41threat, when your brain perceives a

0:22:42threat, when your nervous system

0:22:44perceives a threat, then your amygdala,

0:22:46which is the part of your brain that's

0:22:48associated with processing fear, it

0:22:51fires rapidly. And your nervous system

0:22:54goes into fight, flight, freeze, or form

0:22:56because it's perceiving a danger, a

0:22:58threat. And that threat could be

0:23:00anything. That threat could be real or

0:23:02it could be imagined. It could be a

0:23:04threat could be your own emotions. A

0:23:06threat could be the way that you're

0:23:07talking to yourself. A threat could be

0:23:09uh you perceiving that you're going to

0:23:11fail in the future. That's a threat,

0:23:13right? So, your brain is firing off that

0:23:17signal that there's a threat. Your

0:23:18nervous system is going into that

0:23:20heightened state of fight or flight. So,

0:23:22that can manifest as as fight. You might

0:23:25become more reactive. You might become

0:23:27more defensive. You might feel like

0:23:29something has power over you. Not

0:23:31consciously. You're not aware that

0:23:33something has power over you

0:23:34consciously, but you might find yourself

0:23:36raising your voice. You might react in a

0:23:39really harsh way or you might become

0:23:40really controlling. These are all signs

0:23:43that you're in the fight response and

0:23:45you're in a state of stress. And the

0:23:48flight response can manifest as wanting

0:23:51to avoid, wanting to escape, wanting to

0:23:53run away, staying busy. These are all

0:23:55ways that we can avoid our feelings or

0:23:57avoid discomfort. And then there's

0:24:00freeze. Freeze can manifest in different

0:24:02ways, but it can manifest as shutting

0:24:04down. So you know what you need to do.

0:24:06who you go to take action on it and then

0:24:08all of a sudden

0:24:11I'm tired and you start shutting down.

0:24:14So you don't have the energy to take

0:24:16action on the things that matter to you

0:24:18because your body is perceiving those

0:24:20things as a threat. So for example, I

0:24:22know that today I need to work on my

0:24:24website. So I I'm going to go take this

0:24:26action. There's a limiting belief that

0:24:28it's too hard or that I'm going to fail

0:24:31or that people are going to judge me. So

0:24:34that's a threat to your survival system.

0:24:37So your survival system then shuts you

0:24:40down and you start to feel drained. You

0:24:42feel like you don't have the energy or

0:24:44the capacity to take action even though

0:24:46you know what to do. And it can get

0:24:48really bad for a lot of people where

0:24:50they go into dorsal veagal shutdown

0:24:53where they can't even get out of bed.

0:24:54They just don't have the energy to do

0:24:57the things that they want to do in life.

0:24:59And then thorn, the stress response

0:25:02thorn or appease can manifest as people

0:25:04pleasing, as self-abandonment, as saying

0:25:08yes to things that are really a no,

0:25:10putting other people before you,

0:25:11abandoning your own needs. And a lot of

0:25:13people live in those states. And you

0:25:15know, as we know, then that builds

0:25:16resentment. And ultimately, you don't

0:25:19feel like you're in the driver's seat of

0:25:21your own life because you're not being

0:25:22the decision maker. You're putting other

0:25:24people before you. And that leads to

0:25:26just feeling all kinds of disempowered.

0:25:29So

0:25:30>> it's interesting. I usually think of

0:25:31fight or flight, freeze or fawn in terms

0:25:33of like a argument with my spouse,

0:25:36right, with my wife or other

0:25:37relationships when when there's a

0:25:39conflict. I don't think I've thought

0:25:42about it in the way that you said,

0:25:43right, a goal or a task or a thing that

0:25:46I want to do, but then I my fight,

0:25:49flight, freeze, or fawn response

0:25:51activates, right? I might call what I do

0:25:54procrastination,

0:25:56but you're telling me or you're saying

0:25:57that actually it might be your freeze

0:25:59response.

0:26:00>> Yeah, procrastination is associated with

0:26:01the freeze response because there's some

0:26:03part of your brain and your body and

0:26:04your nervous system that is perceiving

0:26:06unconsciously. Remember this is all

0:26:08subconscious. It's happening back here

0:26:10that your goal when your beliefs and

0:26:14your nervous system aren't calibrated to

0:26:16it, aren't aligned with it, is

0:26:18perceiving it as a threat. So that could

0:26:19be a threat of failure. It could be a

0:26:21threat of being judged. It could be a

0:26:23threat of I'm not going to be able to do

0:26:25this. It's too hard. It could be any

0:26:27other way that your system is thinking

0:26:29about this subconsciously. So, we we

0:26:32resist it. We avoid it. We procrastinate

0:26:34because of that.

0:26:35>> And what you said earlier about okay,

0:26:38cuz I I achieved some level of success.

0:26:40Other people have achieved some level of

0:26:41success. We all might be holding on to

0:26:44the past and these traumas and these

0:26:46things and we might believe that we're

0:26:49capped out, but what you're saying is

0:26:50there's actually levels to where we're

0:26:53at and that ultimately it sounds like we

0:26:56might even be limitless in our in our

0:26:57potential of what we can achieve. And so

0:26:59even being aware that I'm actually not

0:27:01at my maximum capacity or maximum

0:27:04achievement, is that due to our own

0:27:07limiting beliefs and how our stress

0:27:09response is activated? Yeah, it's our

0:27:11survival programming. It's the way we

0:27:13grew up. It's society. It's the things

0:27:15that we were learned. It's the things

0:27:16that we were told. It's the meaning that

0:27:18we made. It's all of We're meaning

0:27:20making machines. And a lot of the

0:27:21meaning that we make is limiting in

0:27:23nature. So, a lot of the stories that

0:27:25we're telling ourselves on a daily basis

0:27:27aren't based in truth. There's what's

0:27:30happening and then there's meaning that

0:27:32we're placing on what's happening.

0:27:34That's two very different things. What's

0:27:36happening is the present moment. what

0:27:38I'm making the present moment mean can

0:27:40either be disempowering or it can be

0:27:42empowering. So the stories we tell

0:27:44ourselves are huge. It's massive. This

0:27:47is deep work. And when you when you talk

0:27:50about being limitless, yeah, we are

0:27:52limitless, but we are conditioned into

0:27:57the way we are based on our past and our

0:28:00upbringing and our childhood and the

0:28:01things that we went through. And all of

0:28:03that shapes our survival programming.

0:28:05And we get to this we can get to this

0:28:07point where we are holding ourselves

0:28:08back. We are limiting ourselves. We're

0:28:11the very thing that's blocking our own

0:28:14next evolution, our next stage of you

0:28:16know creating change in the areas we

0:28:18want to because our survival programming

0:28:21will always prioritize comfort over

0:28:24growth. So it's really us against us. We

0:28:27have to really challenge ourselves to

0:28:29move out of these states of comfort or

0:28:32what we've always known and be willing

0:28:34to grow and evolve into something

0:28:36different. And when we do that, yeah,

0:28:39it's challenging. We have to come up

0:28:40against ourselves and our own limiting

0:28:42narratives, the stories that we tell

0:28:44ourselves. But that's all a part of the

0:28:46work, you know, understanding yourself

0:28:47and, you know, rewiring your brain. So,

0:28:50what's an example of like what's

0:28:52happening versus the meaning that I put

0:28:54onto it? And how do I identify when I'm

0:28:58placing the meaning and I'm getting

0:29:01triggered and how I'm showing up? Right?

0:29:03Because that's sort of what I'm hearing

0:29:04is like I can choose how to respond in

0:29:08any situation based on the meaning that

0:29:10I'm I'm placing on it.

0:29:12>> Yeah. So, the meaning that you're

0:29:13placing on it is coming through your

0:29:16survival programming and your beliefs.

0:29:18So, for example, if someone, let's say

0:29:22you're in traffic, you're driving in

0:29:23traffic and someone cut you off and

0:29:28that's what's happened. Someone's cut

0:29:30you off. Now, what you make it mean is a

0:29:33whole different thing. Now, you could

0:29:34make that mean a million different

0:29:36things. You could make it mean that, oh,

0:29:38wow, this person, they must have been

0:29:40really in a rush. They must have

0:29:41something important to do. They must

0:29:44need to get to where they're going

0:29:46rapidly. I can understand that. I can

0:29:49totally get that, right? I respond to

0:29:52that in a totally different way whether

0:29:54I make it mean something personally

0:29:56about me. Like they weren't uh

0:29:58acknowledging me. They're selfish. Um

0:30:02whatever meaning you're making, right?

0:30:04The meaning that you're placing upon it

0:30:05is how you're responding and how you're

0:30:07reacting. And if you check in with

0:30:09what's happening and you check in with

0:30:11the meaning that you're making on what's

0:30:14happening, then a lot of the times

0:30:16you'll realize that that meaning that

0:30:19you're making on it might not

0:30:21necessarily based be based in truth.

0:30:25And if you can look at that and question

0:30:27it, is this true? Can I know with 100%

0:30:32certainty that this is true? And just be

0:30:35in that self-reflection. And if you

0:30:37can't know with 100% certainty that this

0:30:40is true, then the meaning that you're

0:30:43making, is it working for you or is it

0:30:45working against you? Meaning, is it

0:30:47empowering? Is it making you feel good?

0:30:49Is it making you feel like this is the

0:30:51way that I want to show up? This is my

0:30:52best self. This is my most empowered

0:30:53self. This is my most aligned self. Or

0:30:56is it disempowering? Is it draining your

0:30:58energy? Is it disconnecting you from

0:31:00your power? Because if it's

0:31:02disconnecting you from your power and

0:31:03it's draining you based on the meaning

0:31:05that you're making, your power lies with

0:31:09changing the meaning that you're making.

0:31:11You can't change the present moment and

0:31:13what's happening, but you can change the

0:31:15story that you're telling yourself about

0:31:17the present moment to be a more

0:31:19empowering story. And that's where our

0:31:21power lives as human beings.

0:31:23>> Yeah. When we come back to the stress

0:31:25response, mine was definitely fight,

0:31:27right? And I didn't realize how much

0:31:30anger I had. And it was just my story.

0:31:33It was my normal like I was justified in

0:31:37my response. You know, used to get

0:31:39really upset in traffic, right? That was

0:31:41me uh getting really upset in traffic.

0:31:44And then being able to like create

0:31:47a new story is really powerful. Is

0:31:50really, really powerful.

0:31:52>> Well, you said one of the things you

0:31:53said was key. You know, I used to feel a

0:31:54lot of anger. So the fight response,

0:31:57just like you said, is usually connected

0:31:59to anger. It's times where we felt

0:32:01really anger, angry, sorry. And

0:32:03underneath anger is hurt. So it's times

0:32:05that you felt angry and then times that

0:32:07you've felt hurt in the past. And a lot

0:32:10of us are walking around with incomplete

0:32:12stress responses from the past. So our

0:32:15bodies are still holding on to that

0:32:16hurt. Our bodies are still holding on to

0:32:18that anger. So then some when someone

0:32:20cuts us off in traffic, yes, that's

0:32:22what's happening, but we're also

0:32:24responding from the past hurt that our

0:32:27body is still holding on to because it's

0:32:29being re-triggered. And that's what's

0:32:31happening for a lot of us. We're being

0:32:32re-triggered in the present moment based

0:32:34on what the body is holding on to, based

0:32:37on what the brain is then overlaying

0:32:39onto the present moment, you know, from

0:32:41the past. So a lot of us a lot of us

0:32:43find ourselves in these really reactive

0:32:45states like you said and yeah there's

0:32:47what's happening and then there's what

0:32:49we're making it mean but the meaning is

0:32:51usually from the past right like there's

0:32:54someone that hurt you there's someone

0:32:55that did something to you or your

0:32:57experience that something that made you

0:32:59angry and all of that is then you know

0:33:03that can come up in the present moment

0:33:05if we haven't processed it and released

0:33:07it from the body.

0:33:08>> Yeah. When we did the work together, I

0:33:11was surprised to discover that I had

0:33:13felt abandoned when I was younger,

0:33:16right? And I love my family and they

0:33:18probably don't know this or feel this,

0:33:19but yeah, I felt like, yeah, I'm the

0:33:22youngest son, you know, like I was

0:33:25independent and we we moved from

0:33:28Washington to California and there was

0:33:29this big move and all this, but in that

0:33:32moment, unintentionally,

0:33:35I felt abandoned and then I felt unheard

0:33:38and that continued to show up. But then

0:33:41also in the same vein like the attention

0:33:43I did get was around good grades and

0:33:46performance and all that. And so that

0:33:47turned into me wanting to be seen

0:33:50through high achievement, right? And so

0:33:54how do how do other people become aware

0:33:57of how they're showing up in the world

0:33:59based on

0:34:01the things that happened to them in the

0:34:03past?

0:34:04>> It's like you said, things will be

0:34:06happening in the present moment that

0:34:07will be re-triggering things. So if your

0:34:09body has been holding on to unprocessed

0:34:12emotions and energy and yeah different

0:34:14things from the past that just haven't

0:34:16been processed then things might be

0:34:18being re-triggered in the present

0:34:20moment. And as things are being

0:34:22re-triggered you'll be aware of these

0:34:24stress responses that you're going into

0:34:26whether it's fightlight freeze or fawn.

0:34:28And as you become conscious and aware of

0:34:31these stress responses and the way that

0:34:33you're feeling, like I'm feeling really

0:34:34angry and upset right now. And it might

0:34:37be

0:34:41more of an intense reaction than someone

0:34:43else might be having. So for example,

0:34:45two people can go through the same

0:34:47experiences and respond or react very

0:34:50differently. So some person someone else

0:34:52might go through a similar experience,

0:34:54but you notice that you're reacting in a

0:34:57really strong way, right? You're really

0:34:59activated. Well, that's a sign that

0:35:01you're in a stress response and there's

0:35:03something coming up that's probably

0:35:04deeper uh that wants to be processed

0:35:07than the initial um trigger, right?

0:35:11There's what's happening again and then

0:35:13there's the meaning that you're making

0:35:15and then there can be this deeper

0:35:16trigger from the past. So I think that's

0:35:18the first place to notice is you know

0:35:22how am I responding to challenges in my

0:35:24life? How am I responding to things not

0:35:26going my way? How am I responding to

0:35:29when I'm upset or I'm triggered or when

0:35:34I'm tired or how am I responding with

0:35:36the kids or how am I responding to my

0:35:39partner or how am I responding to a

0:35:41challenge in business? Like am I

0:35:44neutral? Am I responding it to it from

0:35:47an empowered place? Or am I really

0:35:50reactive? Am I responding it to it in a

0:35:53way where I don't actually like the way

0:35:55I'm showing up? I don't like this part

0:35:57of me. I'm not proud of the way that I'm

0:35:59behaving. And if you're honest about

0:36:01that and you reflect on it, then that's

0:36:03the place to start because that's where

0:36:05your power lives. knowing that you have

0:36:07the power to change these responses in

0:36:09the way that you're showing up by

0:36:11identifying your stress responses and

0:36:13then taking control and choosing again.

0:36:16>> All right. So, now we're aware. We don't

0:36:18we don't like it so much. How do we

0:36:20become the architect of our lives?

0:36:23>> Yeah. I use a four-step process with the

0:36:25stress responses and any time of

0:36:27reacting in your life if there's a

0:36:29trigger there. So, the first thing is

0:36:31awareness. Yeah. And the awareness is

0:36:32around the thinking feeling loop. So,

0:36:34what are the thoughts? What am I telling

0:36:36myself right now? What's the story

0:36:38that's there? That could be something

0:36:39that you're ruminating on, something

0:36:41that you're thinking about. What's the

0:36:43story? Write it down. And then, how are

0:36:46you feeling, right? Because our thoughts

0:36:48influence how we feel. And how we feel

0:36:50influences our behavior. So, what am I

0:36:53feeling right now? Am I sad? Am I pissed

0:36:55off? Am I angry? Am I frustrated? Write

0:36:57it down. So, there's what you're

0:36:58thinking, there's how you're feeling,

0:37:00and then how am I behaving? How am I

0:37:02responding? And that might be like,

0:37:04yeah, I'm showing up and I'm being

0:37:06really judgmental. I'm being really

0:37:08harsh or I'm being really controlling or

0:37:10I'm shutting down. I'm getting really

0:37:12tired. Whatever it is, identify the

0:37:14behavior. And that with that with

0:37:16awareness comes choice. So now you've

0:37:19identified the thinking feeling loop.

0:37:20You've identified the thoughts, the

0:37:22feelings, and the behavior. So you bring

0:37:24awareness to it. And then the second

0:37:26stage is acceptance. Can I accept that

0:37:28this is how things are in the present

0:37:30moment rather than judging myself or

0:37:33judging the present moment because

0:37:34usually we just judge ourselves. So it's

0:37:36like can I accept that this is how I'm

0:37:38showing up? It might not be how I want

0:37:40to show up but this is how I'm showing

0:37:42up. Bringing acceptance to that with

0:37:45acceptance then you can move into stage

0:37:47three which is authentic processing. So

0:37:50what do I need to process? I need I

0:37:52might need to process these feelings of

0:37:54frustration or anger or there's some

0:37:56part of me that feels hurt or there's

0:37:57some part of me that feels disappointed

0:37:59or sad. I need to process that. That's

0:38:01when we get into the work like breath

0:38:03work or any other modality that you can

0:38:05use to process these feelings and

0:38:07emotions and shift the energy. And then

0:38:10the last step is I call it ascension.

0:38:12This is when you're moving out of

0:38:13survival and you're moving into now

0:38:16we're moving into being the creator to

0:38:17being the architect. How do I really

0:38:20want to feel? What do I really want? And

0:38:23identifying and taking ownership of yeah

0:38:26what you truly want for your life, for

0:38:29yourself. How do you want to show up?

0:38:31How do you want to feel? What's the

0:38:33story that you want to tell yourself?

0:38:34Not based on the past, but based on who

0:38:37you want to be now, what your soul came

0:38:39here to do, what you feel really

0:38:40inspired to create. You know, you're

0:38:42you're creating a new story for

0:38:44yourself. And obviously creating a new

0:38:47story, it's going to take a lot of reps

0:38:50of you know conditioning your brain and

0:38:52your nervous system to that new story.

0:38:54It's not just going to happen overnight.

0:38:56You know when we talk about rewiring

0:38:57your brain then any type of rewiring or

0:39:01reprogramming happens through

0:39:04the most important thing is repetition,

0:39:06right? And then with repetition there

0:39:09comes intensity. And with intensity

0:39:12there's like that consistency piece,

0:39:13right? you're just showing up and you're

0:39:15putting in that consistency with it. And

0:39:18then through that there's authority as

0:39:21well. You need to be connected to your

0:39:22personal power because the part we're

0:39:25programmed from the past, you know, with

0:39:27limiting beliefs with things that we've

0:39:29been through, whatever it might be like

0:39:31I'm not good enough or I'm not enough or

0:39:33I'm not worthy or I don't belong or

0:39:35there's something wrong with me. That

0:39:36was conditioned through repetition. It

0:39:39was conditioned through intensity and it

0:39:41was conditioned through authority. So it

0:39:44might be some someone that something

0:39:46that someone told you over and over

0:39:48again. It might it could have been the

0:39:49meaning that you made over and over

0:39:51again. It could be it could have come

0:39:53through an authority figure you know

0:39:55someone like a parent or it could have

0:39:57come through someone who had a position

0:39:59of power and there also could have been

0:40:01intensity involved in that experience

0:40:03where maybe someone told you something

0:40:05with emotionally intensity like you're

0:40:07not good enough or they raised their

0:40:09voice or there was some kind of an

0:40:10intensity in the moment and that's how

0:40:12these beliefs form and that's how we get

0:40:15programmed. So if we're wanting to

0:40:17rewire and reprogram the brain again

0:40:19with a new empowering story again, we

0:40:21have to do it through repetition. We

0:40:23have to do it through emotionally

0:40:24emotional intensity. And what I mean by

0:40:26that is we're trying on the new story.

0:40:29We might not believe it, but we're

0:40:31trying it on. We're letting it in. And

0:40:32we're connecting to the elevated

0:40:34feelings associated with that with that

0:40:36story. And then we're connecting to our

0:40:38personal power within that. So an

0:40:40example of that is I grew up feeling not

0:40:42good enough and not worthy to create

0:40:44what I want. And I was conditioned into

0:40:46that through my father taking his life

0:40:49when I was 7 years old. He shot himself.

0:40:52And I went through that experience like

0:40:54you of having my own relationship with

0:40:56feeling abandoned with feeling let down

0:40:59with feeling not good enough because I

0:41:00believed that if my father had stayed

0:41:04around then that would mean that I was

0:41:07good enough. And the fact that he chose

0:41:09to leave that means that I'm not good

0:41:12enough. So that goes again into what we

0:41:14were speaking around there's what

0:41:16happens or what's happening and the

0:41:19meaning that you're placing upon it. So

0:41:21my dad took his life. That's what

0:41:24happened. The meaning I placed on top of

0:41:26that was I'm not good enough.

0:41:29That's what I made it mean. And I walked

0:41:31around with that limiting belief for a

0:41:33very long time. And then that limiting

0:41:35belief would come out in everything that

0:41:37I do because I believed that I wasn't

0:41:39good enough or worthy enough to create

0:41:41what I wanted. So therefore, that

0:41:42limiting belief was running the show.

0:41:45And how I conditioned and reprogrammed

0:41:48my brain into a new empowering belief

0:41:50was through the work that I'm speaking

0:41:52about. It's choosing a new empowering

0:41:53story. And then through repetition,

0:41:55intensity, and authority, I would work

0:41:58it over and over again. I'm using this

0:42:00new story. I'm connecting to it. I'm

0:42:02seeing it. I'm feeling it as done. It's

0:42:04just like going to the gym. You've got

0:42:06to be willing to put in the reps. and

0:42:08reps, you know, and consistency over

0:42:10time equals results. So that's what the

0:42:12work is, you know, it's identifying

0:42:14these old limiting stories from the past

0:42:17based on the things that you've been

0:42:18through or you've experienced and then

0:42:20choosing a new empowering story based on

0:42:22what you want and what feels more

0:42:24empowering and then being willing to do

0:42:26the reps and put in the work. And when

0:42:29we do that, there's parts of us that

0:42:31don't believe it at first. Like when I

0:42:33was reprogramming my brain, I didn't

0:42:35believe fundamentally that I was worthy

0:42:38of creating what I wanted. I felt

0:42:40separate from it. I felt unsupported. I

0:42:42felt disconnected from it. I truly

0:42:44believed on a deep level that I wasn't

0:42:47capable of creating it. That's what I

0:42:50believed. So when I was trying on this

0:42:52new story of, you know, I am worthy. I

0:42:55am good enough. I'm fully capable of

0:42:57creating my dreams into reality. There

0:42:59was parts of me that still didn't

0:43:00believe it. And I think that's true for

0:43:02all of us when we get into the work. And

0:43:04that's okay because all you're doing is

0:43:06you're trying it on. You're letting it

0:43:08in. You're putting in the reps. And over

0:43:10time, you get to prove it to yourself,

0:43:13you know, through action, through

0:43:14showing up, and through the results that

0:43:16you generate. And it is a game of

0:43:19proving it to yourself. And it does

0:43:21happen over time. And it's not rapid

0:43:24like that. You know, it's exactly like

0:43:26going to the gym and creating a physical

0:43:28transformation. It takes time. And it

0:43:31takes work and inner work is exactly the

0:43:33same.

0:43:33>> I think that makes me feel better about

0:43:35all of this and it should make other,

0:43:38you know, right brain or analysts or

0:43:40high achievers that it is really just

0:43:43practice. It's just reps. It's just new

0:43:45and different in a totally different

0:43:47way, right? And and we stay in our

0:43:49comfort zones. We stay in our lane

0:43:51because it's easier. Even though we're

0:43:53doing reps and we're getting better and

0:43:54we're improving, but it's usually still

0:43:56within our comfort zone and it's not

0:43:57usually stretching. And for a lot of us,

0:44:00this is the thing that will stretch us.

0:44:01And so, thank you for sharing about your

0:44:03father. I was going to ask, what other

0:44:05ways did that show up for you as a kid,

0:44:08a teenager, or even into your adult

0:44:10life?

0:44:11>> Yeah, it was mostly around my heart. So,

0:44:13I put protective layers over my heart

0:44:16because I had been hurt so much by my

0:44:18dad and his choices that I believed love

0:44:21equals being hurt. Love equals being

0:44:23abandoned. Love isn't safe. It's not

0:44:25safe to receive love. It's not safe to

0:44:27give love. So these internal narratives

0:44:29then shaped my perception how I

0:44:31responded and connected with people. I

0:44:33would hold back. There'd be walls. I'd

0:44:34protect myself. I wouldn't let people

0:44:36in. I'd be guarded. Um I'd push away

0:44:39love. Not just love. I'd push away

0:44:41opportunities. So that's a big thing. So

0:44:44when I started this work, opportunities

0:44:46started coming to me. I'd push them away

0:44:49because I still believed I'm not

0:44:51capable. I'm not worthy. I'm not enough.

0:44:53So, opportunities would start to show up

0:44:55and I'm like, "No, I'm not ready. I'll

0:44:57be ready in the future. I'll be ready

0:44:59some other day. I'm not ready now." A

0:45:01lot of people do that, right? They think

0:45:03that they need to wait. They think that

0:45:05they need more time before starting. But

0:45:07that's not how the game of life works.

0:45:09You have to get uncomfortable. You have

0:45:11to rise. You have to, you know, know

0:45:12that you can figure it out through the

0:45:14process. So yeah, for me it looked like

0:45:17moving through stages of fight, moving

0:45:21through stages of flight where I wanted

0:45:24to run away, I wanted to avoid, I wanted

0:45:26to escape. I was definitely going into

0:45:28freeze a lot, procrastinating, shutting

0:45:31down. Um, not really taking full

0:45:34ownership of my vision. Like if someone

0:45:36asked me about my vision, like what are

0:45:38you inspired to create? What do you want

0:45:39to do? What do you want to contribute

0:45:41into this world? I would have a knowing

0:45:43of what I wanted to do, but I didn't

0:45:46dare speak about it because I didn't

0:45:48believe that I was capable of doing it.

0:45:50So, I would just shut the the idea down.

0:45:52I'd gaslight myself because I didn't

0:45:55believe on some level that it was

0:45:56possible. So, yeah, I wouldn't speak it

0:45:58into existence. I wouldn't be showing up

0:46:01as the version of me who was capable. I

0:46:03wouldn't be taking aligned action. So,

0:46:06therefore, I was just holding myself

0:46:07back. I was in this loop. And it

0:46:09definitely impacted every area of my

0:46:11life from relationships to finances to

0:46:14my fitness journey to yeah the way I

0:46:17perceived myself, the way I connected

0:46:19with people, every single aspect of my

0:46:21life.

0:46:21>> And so let's talk about the tattoos a

0:46:23little bit cuz I mean you're pretty much

0:46:25covered head to toe.

0:46:26>> Yeah, I have a full bodysuit.

0:46:28>> Yeah, full bodysuit. And so is that a

0:46:30what is that a result of? Because

0:46:32there's a lot of people that have a

0:46:33judgment around people with tattoos,

0:46:35>> right? they hate the world or they're

0:46:37they're in gangs or all the all these

0:46:40things about people with tattoos. What

0:46:41what are the tattoos significant of for

0:46:43you?

0:46:44>> Yeah. Well, I mentioned that there was

0:46:45this armor around my heart, right? This

0:46:47protection around my heart that was

0:46:48connected to my father taking his life.

0:46:51So, that was the internal protection

0:46:53that I placed upon my heart. And then

0:46:55this was the external protection. This

0:46:58was the hardened layer that I put over

0:47:00myself to stay back. Don't come any

0:47:03closer. Don't get too close to me. These

0:47:05tattoos were a form of protection for

0:47:07me. I didn't know in the moment

0:47:09consciously that that's what I was

0:47:11doing. But through years of inner work,

0:47:13I could recognize that these ta tattoos

0:47:16that I was placing on me were actually a

0:47:17form of protection. There were the parts

0:47:20of me that didn't feel safe that were

0:47:24masking or I really really creating this

0:47:28armor externally to yeah protect myself

0:47:31from all the ways that I had been hurt.

0:47:33I also grew up in an environment in New

0:47:35Zealand that was there was a lot of

0:47:39violence.

0:47:40So the protection was on multiple levels

0:47:44but that's what I was doing. I was

0:47:46creating this response to my environment

0:47:50and yeah, just seeking to protect myself

0:47:53through the way I looked and yeah, it

0:47:55was definitely an interesting journey

0:47:56when I unraveled all of that and I

0:47:58really looked at that pattern. There was

0:48:00also the element of art like I really

0:48:02enjoyed creatively expressing myself and

0:48:05you know putting myself into art. So I

0:48:08really really enjoyed that. But I would

0:48:11say a lot of it stemmed from not feeling

0:48:15good enough as well and feeling like I

0:48:17need to be something else rather than

0:48:19what I am. So if I don't feel good

0:48:22enough as I am, then I'm going to place

0:48:24all of these external things on my body

0:48:26so I am enough. So I am good enough

0:48:28which is based on the belief I am not

0:48:30I'm not good enough. You know, I need to

0:48:32do something extra or be extra. So

0:48:34that's what it was as well. There was

0:48:36that layer of that. And so what meaning

0:48:38do you place on them now that you've

0:48:40gone through that journey?

0:48:42>> Yeah, I they don't they don't have any

0:48:43meaning for me now. Yeah. They just it

0:48:45just is. It's just who I am in this

0:48:47present moment. You know, there's

0:48:49tattoos that I like, there's tattoos

0:48:50that I don't like, but it's my past.

0:48:53This is how I grew up. You know, my dad

0:48:55was heavily tattooed. My uncles were

0:48:56heavily tattooed. When I was a kid, you

0:48:58know, I was on the back of Harley's

0:49:01going to like house angels rallies and I

0:49:04was living that type of life, being

0:49:06exposed to that. I was conditioned into

0:49:08into that. And for me growing up,

0:49:10tattoos represented family. They

0:49:12represented safety. So someone else can

0:49:14place a judgment on tattoos or someone

0:49:16who's heavily tattooed and look at them

0:49:18as like unsafe or, you know, a part of a

0:49:20club or a gang. And I totally get that

0:49:22way of u perceiving. But for me, it

0:49:25represented safety. it represented like

0:49:27family. So that's what it was for me.

0:49:29There was that unconscious connection to

0:49:31that. So when my dad took his life, you

0:49:34know, one of the things I remember I was

0:49:37really young, he was 7 years old and

0:49:39before he died, he gifted me a

0:49:41skateboard and on the back of the

0:49:42skateboard was this tattoo style art.

0:49:44And I remember being really drawn drawn

0:49:46to it and resonating with it. And after

0:49:49he died, I would always draw this kind

0:49:51of tattoo style art. And I was I was

0:49:53really into it. So it was always there

0:49:56for me. It was always a part of my

0:49:57creative expression. So there was layers

0:49:59of it that were like, you know, bas

0:50:01based on not feeling good enough and

0:50:02being limited and wanting to protect

0:50:04myself, but also aspects of it that were

0:50:06based on creative expression and fun and

0:50:08all of those things, too.

0:50:09>> Yeah. Because I look at you and I see

0:50:11someone who has

0:50:14like freedom of authenticity, freedom in

0:50:18confidence in who they are and what

0:50:19they're about and everything. And and

0:50:22that's one of the reasons that I was I

0:50:24was drawn to working with you is because

0:50:25I saw that. And so and I I think a lot

0:50:29of people are seeking to be their most

0:50:31authentic self, right? And so how have

0:50:34you gotten to that point or what can you

0:50:36say to people that are that are still

0:50:38feeling like they have a mask on? And

0:50:40and you know a great example is like you

0:50:42go to your corporate work, corporate job

0:50:43and you're just you feel like you're

0:50:45acting or putting on a show or

0:50:46pretending. And so how can you help

0:50:49people access their most authentic self?

0:50:50>> Yeah. You have to be ready for it

0:50:52because it means that you're going to

0:50:53have to take ownership of what you want

0:50:56and how you're showing up and you're

0:50:58going to have to let go of

0:51:01fear of being perceived and judged in a

0:51:03certain way. So, when you step into

0:51:05being your authentic self, you will be

0:51:08judged. There will be people that don't

0:51:11understand the path that you're on. They

0:51:13don't get your vision because it's not

0:51:14their vision. It's your vision. So,

0:51:16they're going to judge the way that

0:51:17you're showing up. They're going to

0:51:18judge the way that you're talking.

0:51:20they're going to judge what you have to

0:51:21say. That's all a part of the process of

0:51:23stepping into your authentic self. You

0:51:25have to be willing to let go of what

0:51:28other people think of you. So, if you

0:51:29have a fear of judgment, then then you

0:51:31have to face that. You have to work

0:51:32through it. You have to also know that

0:51:36if you have a vision for your life, you

0:51:38have to protect it because there's going

0:51:39to be so many people just that don't

0:51:41understand your vision. So, that's so

0:51:43important that you have to protect your

0:51:44vision. Meaning you have to tune out the

0:51:46outside noise of judgments and other

0:51:48people's projections and you have to

0:51:50protect it. You have to hold it close

0:51:52and you have to be willing to you know

0:51:54do the work on it. So stepping into your

0:51:57authentic self is about authentically

0:51:59expressing yourself which means if

0:52:01you've been in a fora response which a

0:52:03lot of people find themselves in the

0:52:05forer appease response where they're

0:52:07shutting down their own voice. They're

0:52:08not having an opinion because they're

0:52:10scared of judgment. are scared to offend

0:52:13people or to um upset people or they

0:52:16don't want people to they don't want to

0:52:18outshine people or you know make people

0:52:20feel bad and so they're holding back

0:52:22their true expression. All of that's got

0:52:24to go. You've got to step into your

0:52:26power. You've got to authentic

0:52:27authentically express yourself and take

0:52:30up space and use your voice and it's

0:52:32going to be a practice and it's going to

0:52:34feel uncomfortable if you've been in the

0:52:36for response and that's where I was. So

0:52:39I had shut down my voice. I definitely

0:52:42was holding back. I was playing small on

0:52:45so many levels. And I recognized that I

0:52:47wasn't in my power. And to get to this

0:52:51place now, I've had to work through all

0:52:53those layers. And there was a lot of

0:52:55fear of judgment. There was a lot of

0:52:57fear of what other people thought of me.

0:52:58And I had to work through all of that

0:53:00and step really into my power as a

0:53:03creator, as someone who wants to be on

0:53:05this path, sharing what I think, what I

0:53:07believe, what I'm working through. share

0:53:09or more of my authentic self with people

0:53:11as a permission slip for other people to

0:53:13do the same. So yeah, it's working

0:53:15through all those layers of fear and

0:53:16self-doubt and resistance that will show

0:53:19up on the path.

0:53:20>> And so when did that shift for you?

0:53:21Because you're from New Zealand and I

0:53:23never would have guessed that there was

0:53:24like gangs and violence in New Zealand

0:53:26because it's like the friendliest place

0:53:27on earth. But now you're in LA and I

0:53:30know you've traveled to India. You

0:53:32you've kind of had this world tour of a

0:53:34journey. And so what was it that like

0:53:36shifted Lucas into this version of

0:53:38himself that we see today?

0:53:39>> Yeah, it was the inner work. It was

0:53:41breath work for me. Uh not the daily

0:53:43breath work. Yeah, that's been really

0:53:45really supportive for like resets and

0:53:47regulating my nervous system and the

0:53:50reprogramming aspect like we said that

0:53:52can happen over time. But for me, the

0:53:54big shifts happened in the deeper

0:53:55therapeutic journeys where I was able to

0:53:58do things like forgive my dad. I was

0:54:00able to understand where I was holding

0:54:02back and not using my voice, where I was

0:54:04in a forn or appease response. I could

0:54:06understand why I was carrying this hurt

0:54:08or this anger, why I was um going into

0:54:11the freeze response, why it didn't feel

0:54:12safe to take bold action on certain

0:54:14things. Understanding myself on all

0:54:16those deeper layers, then yeah, things

0:54:19have just clicked and made sense and

0:54:20I've been able to interrupt the old

0:54:22patterns, choose again, and um yeah,

0:54:24just move forward in an empowering way.

0:54:26So, it's not been one thing. It's just

0:54:29happened through the work over time. Um,

0:54:31yeah, I put it down to like going to the

0:54:33gym again. It's not like you're not

0:54:35going to go to the gym and do really one

0:54:38amazing session and that's going to, you

0:54:39know, change your life. No, it happens

0:54:41through consistency. And it's the same

0:54:43with this type of work. I've been doing

0:54:45this work now for 15 years. So, over 15

0:54:48years, there's been so many shifts. I'm

0:54:51not the person I was 5 years ago. I'm

0:54:53not the person I was 10 years ago. I'm

0:54:54not the per person I was 15 years ago.

0:54:57you know, I'm constantly evolving and

0:54:58changing and transforming and it's

0:55:00through the work and yeah, it's amazing

0:55:03and I'm really grateful to be here in in

0:55:05the USA, like you said, being from New

0:55:07Zealand, because from my past, I

0:55:10shouldn't even be here. I I have like

0:55:12been through the system. I have a past.

0:55:15I've been in trouble with the law. You

0:55:17know, I'm very very lucky to be here in

0:55:20the United States. And to me, that's a

0:55:22blessing. And the work that I do now is

0:55:26I'm so grateful to be able to help

0:55:28people and truly truly deeply grateful

0:55:31to be on this path. Like this is my

0:55:33highest joy. This is what I love to do

0:55:35and I'm so passionate about this work.

0:55:36I'm obsessed about it. Like this is what

0:55:39my soul came here to do and I'm living

0:55:41it and yeah, the opportunities are just

0:55:44flowing and things are happening in an

0:55:45amazing way and yeah, I I'm truly

0:55:48grateful to be here. It's amazing. You

0:55:49came to the US and you're helping some

0:55:52incredible people. You're like the the

0:55:54healer to the stars really. Like you

0:55:56have some big clients like Travis

0:55:58Barker, Jake Paul, MGK.

0:56:01What is it about working with

0:56:03celebrities and people of influence that

0:56:06that excites you or that you enjoy?

0:56:09>> My soul really feels so lit up and

0:56:12excited by shifting culture from behind

0:56:14the curtain, from the inside out. And

0:56:16what I mean by that is making wellness

0:56:18making working on yourself, making inner

0:56:21work cool, making it available and

0:56:23trendy for the youth. Showing that like

0:56:26it's cool to work on yourself. It's cool

0:56:28to become better. It's cool to step into

0:56:30your best self, which means you're going

0:56:31to have to look at your own blind spots,

0:56:33which means you're going to have to look

0:56:34at your past and the things that you're

0:56:36holding on to, which means you're going

0:56:37to have to step into this work and

0:56:39release some things, let some things go,

0:56:41and you're going to have to choose

0:56:42again. I love this. And for me, working

0:56:44with people who have a huge following

0:56:46and then showing the work and showing

0:56:48the results and the things that they're

0:56:49doing out in the world, yeah, it starts

0:56:51to get people more interested in this

0:56:54work. Because for a long time, it was

0:56:55fringe. It wasn't even known. It wasn't

0:56:57even respected. And for me, I've

0:57:01received so much benefits through this

0:57:03work. It's like I just want to share it

0:57:05with everyone. And I'm really excited

0:57:08about it. And one of the biggest ways to

0:57:10get it out there is working with people

0:57:11with huge followers and getting them to

0:57:14share the work and getting them to share

0:57:16about the changes that they're making in

0:57:18their lives through the work. And over

0:57:20time that starts to shift culture. So

0:57:23that's what it is for me. You know,

0:57:24that's my why. And so how do people like

0:57:26Jake Paul and Travis Barker approach

0:57:30healing

0:57:31and doing the inner work and like you

0:57:34know I know I know you can't tell

0:57:35everything or share personal details but

0:57:38like how do they approach doing this

0:57:40type of work that might be different

0:57:42than how an average person approaches

0:57:44it.

0:57:44>> Yeah. For everyone it starts off with

0:57:45your goals. So it starts off with what

0:57:47you want. So for example with Travis

0:57:49Barker he had a goal that he wanted to

0:57:51fly again. So he had been in a horrific

0:57:53plane accident and he was the only

0:57:55survivor of that plane crash. There was

0:57:57one other person that had survived and

0:57:59they later took their life. So he was

0:58:01the only survivor and he had gone

0:58:03through a lot of trauma. He had 70% of

0:58:06his body burned. He was in hospital for

0:58:09years getting or for months sorry

0:58:10getting skin grafts and just went

0:58:12through a whole process with that. So he

0:58:14spent 10 years of his life not flying.

0:58:16The fear was holding him back from

0:58:19flying again. So when I met Travis, he

0:58:22wanted to fly again. That was his goal.

0:58:24So we worked through processing all of

0:58:26that trauma and all of the fear around

0:58:28that. And then he flew again. So that

0:58:30was his why. With Jake Paul, he wants to

0:58:32become a world champion. He's really

0:58:34dedicated. He's a professional athlete.

0:58:36He's locked in. A lot of people see him

0:58:38as a YouTuber. They have no idea how

0:58:40hard he's working behind the scenes.

0:58:42That he has a whole team of trainers.

0:58:44That he's full-time training. the best

0:58:46nutritionists, the best specialists of

0:58:48every level that are supporting him with

0:58:50his goals. And then I support him with

0:58:52mental rehearsal. I support him to

0:58:55visualize his goals, what he wants to

0:58:57create from the perspective that he's

0:58:59already created it. Conditioning his

0:59:00mind and his body to that reality. We

0:59:03use breath work. We use visualization.

0:59:05We use different tools to do that. So,

0:59:07it's based on his goals and what he

0:59:08wants to do. And it's the same for every

0:59:10other person that I work with. They have

0:59:12their own specific goals, you know, what

0:59:14they want to create. And then I might

0:59:16look at their fears. I might look at

0:59:18where they're holding themselves back. I

0:59:20might look at things from the past that

0:59:21haven't been resolved. There's different

0:59:23ways to approach it, but it's all based

0:59:25on what they want. I look at Jake Paul

0:59:27and I could see from the very beginning

0:59:29what he was doing, you know, that he was

0:59:32actually on a mission to help and he's

0:59:34created the the other organizations to

0:59:36support women fighters and like he's

0:59:38actually like creating a lot of change,

0:59:41but there's all these haters. There's

0:59:42all this noise. There's all this other

0:59:44stuff going on. Can you talk about the

0:59:47meaning that Jake Paul puts on all the

0:59:50stuff that's happening around him?

0:59:51>> Yeah. The first thing I want to say,

0:59:53it's so easy to sit on the sidelines and

0:59:55point to someone who's in the game of

0:59:57life, playing the game of life, playing

1:00:00the game of life, going after their

1:00:01goals, point the finger, judge, project,

1:00:04and try and tear them down. Mostly when

1:00:06that's happening, people are doing that

1:00:08because they don't feel good about

1:00:09themselves. They don't like where

1:00:11they're at in life. So, it's way easier

1:00:13to point over here and tear someone down

1:00:15because truly successful people aren't

1:00:17doing that. truly successful people who

1:00:20are in the game of life, playing the

1:00:21game of life, will help. They will lift

1:00:23each other up. They will support people.

1:00:25So, when I look at people, the comment

1:00:27section around Jake, I just look at a

1:00:30bunch of really disempowered, negative

1:00:32people that have no idea around the work

1:00:35that Jake's putting in. They literally

1:00:37have no idea how much he's showing up,

1:00:39how much work he's putting in, how much

1:00:41action he's taking, the amount of money

1:00:43that he's investing into himself, his

1:00:45goals, the amount of time that he's

1:00:47investing into himself, how his work

1:00:50ethic is. He just works around the

1:00:52clock. He's one of the hardest working

1:00:54people I know to this day. And people

1:00:56have no idea of that. They just see him

1:00:58as a YouTuber and they really

1:01:00underestimate what he can achieve and

1:01:02what he can do. And Jake uses all of

1:01:04that as fuel. He says, "Cool. I'll take

1:01:08all of that and then I'll prove you

1:01:10wrong. I'll I'll step up. I'll challenge

1:01:13myself. I'll move outside my comfort

1:01:15zone." Cool. You say that I can't do it

1:01:17here. I'm going to give it a go. I might

1:01:18not be successful or I might be

1:01:20successful, but I'm going to give it a

1:01:21go. I'm going to give it my best. I'm

1:01:23going to level up. I'm going to

1:01:24challenge myself. I'm going to

1:01:26continuously rise. And that's what he

1:01:28does. He continuously rises. He

1:01:29continuously challenges himself to move

1:01:32outside his his comfort zone and yeah,

1:01:35he does it at a masterful level and

1:01:37people have no idea about Jake and what

1:01:40he's going to achieve in the future.

1:01:41They really underestimate him and they

1:01:44just place so much judgment and

1:01:45projection on him and it just shows

1:01:47where they're at, you know.

1:01:48>> And so what what have you taken away

1:01:51personally from how Jake shows up and

1:01:54how he markets or social media or

1:01:57interacts with his fans? What have you

1:01:59taken away personally from the way that

1:02:00Jake operates?

1:02:01>> Yeah, so when I first moved to LA, I

1:02:02moved in with Jake and we lived with

1:02:04Jake at this huge mansion in Calabasas.

1:02:06And during that time of living with

1:02:08Jake, I took so much from him. His work

1:02:10ethic, number one, he has an unbeatable

1:02:13work ethic. He trains so hard. He works

1:02:17and takes action

1:02:20on another level. Like he is constantly

1:02:23grinding. He's and in all areas too, not

1:02:26just like in the fight game, in

1:02:28training, in all areas in business and

1:02:30his relationship and therapy and in a

1:02:32work. He's just going all at it. So,

1:02:34it's that it's not holding back. It's

1:02:36being the decision maker in your own

1:02:38life. It's moving fast. It's moving with

1:02:40precision. That's what I took away. It's

1:02:42allowing yourself to not just have a

1:02:44vision, but to fully own your vision and

1:02:46to go after it and to play a big game,

1:02:49to not focus on small problems, to live

1:02:51a bigger life, to not play small. And

1:02:53that's what Jake embodies and he does it

1:02:55so well. So yeah, it's taking up more

1:02:57space. It's really stepping into your

1:02:59power. It's knowing that you might not

1:03:01always get it right, but you're going to

1:03:02you're going to give it a go. You're

1:03:03going to rise to the occasion and figure

1:03:05it out as you go. You're not going to

1:03:07hold yourself back. So that's what it's

1:03:09been for me when I was living with Jake.

1:03:10I was witnessing all of that. And then I

1:03:12was applying it in my own life. And I

1:03:14was yeah challenging myself to step

1:03:16outside my comfort zone and play bigger,

1:03:19you know, to to show up in a in a way

1:03:21that was like really stretchy and um

1:03:24uncomfortable. And that's what I've been

1:03:26doing consistently, you know, ever since

1:03:28I met Jake.

1:03:29>> What do you do when you know you make a

1:03:30bunch of money? So like Jake or or you

1:03:32or anyone, you make a bunch of money and

1:03:36you don't have to keep going. Like what

1:03:39is it about people like Jake or Travis

1:03:42or you or anyone that you've worked with

1:03:44where they're set, right? They don't

1:03:46they don't have to work. They don't have

1:03:48to create. But why do they choose to?

1:03:50And why does Jake choose to go through

1:03:53the onslaught of hate?

1:03:56Even though he could, he could just go

1:03:57fade into the, you know, into the

1:03:59background and be okay. Like what is it

1:04:00about these people that want to continue

1:04:03to grow and create and build?

1:04:04>> Yeah. I think it's a desire, like you

1:04:06said, to grow. It's a desire to have

1:04:08selfmastery, to evolve, to become the

1:04:11best version of yourself through

1:04:12challenges, through obstacles, through

1:04:14adversity. And it's like creating these

1:04:16huge challenges for yourself, whether

1:04:18it's like overcoming a big fear or, you

1:04:21know, stepping into a ring and fighting

1:04:23or uh a business move or whatever goal

1:04:26that you have. It's like the desire to

1:04:28grow. It's the desire to become better.

1:04:30And it's not really about the money.

1:04:32It's about who you become in the

1:04:33process. It's a process of becoming. And

1:04:35yeah, sure the money is great and the

1:04:37lifestyle is great and all the

1:04:38opportunities that come is great. But

1:04:40beyond that, it's about challenging

1:04:42yourself. You know, I think as men, we

1:04:44love challenges. We want to challenge

1:04:46ourselves. We want to overcome

1:04:47adversity. We want to grow. And we do

1:04:50that through walking through the fire.

1:04:52You know, it's boring to live in the

1:04:53comfort zone. It's not

1:04:57fulfilling. You get to this place where

1:04:59it might be comfortable, but you realize

1:05:01that you want more out of life. And what

1:05:04comes through that is you have to

1:05:06challenge yourself to grow. That's how

1:05:09we step into becoming better. It's

1:05:12through adversity. It's through these

1:05:15things that feel like it's a mountain

1:05:16and we've got to climb it. And during

1:05:18that pursuit, right, then we find out

1:05:21who we are in the process and we evolve.

1:05:23We become better. We understand

1:05:25ourselves on a deeper level. And I think

1:05:26for every high achiever out there,

1:05:28that's what it is. They just they want

1:05:29to step into new levels of growth and

1:05:32new levels of understanding themselves

1:05:33and new levels of what's possible and

1:05:36there's always a new level and that's

1:05:38cool to know. It doesn't matter where

1:05:40you are, right? There's always a new

1:05:41level of growth available to you and if

1:05:43that's what you want, then that's what

1:05:45you can have.

1:05:46>> How do we continue to grow and evolve

1:05:49without just adding chaos and anxiety

1:05:51and another thing to do into our lives?

1:05:54>> Yeah, I think it's all based on what you

1:05:55want, right? So you have to first decide

1:05:57what you want and you have to really

1:05:59take ownership of that vision. So along

1:06:01that path there is going to be fear.

1:06:04There is going to be doubt. There is

1:06:05going to be resistance. There is going

1:06:06to be anxiety. That's a part of the

1:06:09process. Just because it's a part of the

1:06:11process though those things don't have

1:06:12to control you or they don't have to

1:06:14stop you or limit you. Those things can

1:06:16be there. But you can have mastery over

1:06:19those things. You can have power over

1:06:20those things. Those things do not have

1:06:22to limit you. and you get to do it in a

1:06:24way that's right for you, in a way

1:06:25that's aligned for you. So, you're not

1:06:27stretching yourself too far outside your

1:06:29comfort zone where you're just going to

1:06:30shut down and you're not going to be

1:06:32able to accomplish your goal. You're

1:06:34you're creating these steps for yourself

1:06:36where you're stacking these steps and

1:06:37you're proving to yourself that it's

1:06:39possible. And through that process of,

1:06:41you know, taking action and showing up,

1:06:43then yeah, you you get to prove to

1:06:45yourself that you can do it. and you

1:06:48show yourself through through the

1:06:49process of that, you know, like it gets

1:06:52to be fun. It gets to be enjoyable. You

1:06:54get to do it in a way that feels like it

1:06:57lights you up. It doesn't have to be

1:06:58this process of like

1:07:01wanting to be better from a place of not

1:07:04feeling enough, right? Because if you're

1:07:06doing it from not feeling enough, yeah,

1:07:08then it's just going to be this hamster

1:07:09wheel of the next thing, of the next

1:07:11thing, of the next thing. But if you're

1:07:13doing it for more like soul growth, no,

1:07:15this is a mission that I'm on because as

1:07:17a soul who came to this, you know, this

1:07:20planet, I want to grow. I want to

1:07:22evolve. I want to be my best. Then I get

1:07:24to have fun through the process of

1:07:25challenging myself and growing. That's a

1:07:27way better way to do it, you know,

1:07:29rather than feeling that you're not

1:07:30enough or you have to do it for external

1:07:32validation or to whatever it is that you

1:07:36perceive that you need, you know. So,

1:07:38cuz you you can s you can self source

1:07:41all of that from within. So if you if

1:07:43you feel like I'm doing X, Y, and Z to

1:07:45receive uh outside validation, then what

1:07:49is it that you actually want? Like what

1:07:51are the core feelings that you want?

1:07:53Because you don't have to rely on

1:07:54someone else to give you those core

1:07:55feelings. You can generate those core

1:07:57feelings from within, right? Whether

1:07:58it's validation, to be seen, um to to

1:08:01feel important, to feel like you matter,

1:08:03to feel like what you do is contributing

1:08:06in a positive way, whatever that is for

1:08:08you, you can access those feelings from

1:08:10within. You can generate them from

1:08:11within. You can amplify them from

1:08:13within. And you can show up as that now.

1:08:16Meaning, you're not waiting to sometime

1:08:17in the future till you have those

1:08:18results. You're accessing those feelings

1:08:21from within now. And then you're showing

1:08:23up as that. And you're taking action and

1:08:26you're moving through any resistance or

1:08:28fears that come up along the way. But

1:08:30yeah, you have fun with the process. And

1:08:32that's how you, you know, you shift your

1:08:34identity. That's how you create these

1:08:36massive quantum leaps in life is through

1:08:38embodying it now. not waiting but

1:08:40embodying the version of you that walks

1:08:42as that that you know that shows up as

1:08:44that that speaks as that version of you

1:08:47that's already done it that's already

1:08:49mastered what you want to master

1:08:50>> so then if I like getting admiration and

1:08:53praise and validation and like good job

1:08:55pat on the back

1:08:58how do I balance that against like like

1:09:02you said creating those own emotions and

1:09:04those own feelings inside of myself

1:09:05without just fueling my ego or not

1:09:09believing people or you know what I mean

1:09:11like

1:09:12>> like what if I do like people saying you

1:09:14did a good job.

1:09:15>> Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. I

1:09:16like people saying that I'm doing a good

1:09:17job but are you telling yourself that

1:09:19you're doing a good job? Because a lot

1:09:20of us are withholding love from

1:09:22ourselves. So are you validating

1:09:24yourself? Are you celebrating yourself?

1:09:26Are you acknowledging yourself? Because

1:09:28if you're not and you're just relying on

1:09:31this external validation, that's where

1:09:33it's become a problem because you're not

1:09:35in your power, right? You're self you're

1:09:38outsourcing this validation rather than

1:09:40self-sourcing it. So self-sourcing is

1:09:43means like yes I like this outsource

1:09:45this outside validation. I like when

1:09:47people tell me I do a good job. I like

1:09:49when I support someone to get certain

1:09:51results. I like that. But I'm also

1:09:53acknowledging myself through the

1:09:55process. I'm acknowledging the steps I'm

1:09:57taking. I'm acknowledging where things

1:09:59didn't go right. I'm acknowledging where

1:10:00I could do a better job. I'm

1:10:02acknowledging where I did a good job.

1:10:04I'm acknowledging my whole self, all

1:10:06parts of me through the process. I'm not

1:10:08just waiting for someone else to do that

1:10:10for me. And when you're doing that, then

1:10:12you're in your power, right? And you can

1:10:14have balance over over it.

1:10:16>> What about the opposite where people

1:10:18have a hard time receiving love and

1:10:20receiving compliments and receiving

1:10:21admiration? What What about that? How do

1:10:23we overcome that?

1:10:24>> Well, that's where I was when I talked

1:10:25about having a blockage around my heart,

1:10:27having these walls of protection up. I

1:10:29wouldn't let love in because I believed

1:10:30it wasn't safe to receive love because

1:10:33love would be taken away because that's

1:10:35what my father showed to me through his

1:10:36actions. So for me it's a process of

1:10:39finding safety with receiving. So can

1:10:41you start small? Can you start receiving

1:10:43compliments? Can you start receiving um

1:10:46admiration? Can you start receiving

1:10:48things in a small way and find safety

1:10:50with that? Then you can start opening up

1:10:52to receive larger things. But you have

1:10:54to start small first and then find

1:10:56safety with it and then just build upon

1:10:57it. But that's that's what it is.

1:10:59Because there can be parts of us that

1:11:01just don't feel safe to receive because

1:11:05we've had moments in time where it

1:11:08wasn't maybe safe to receive or it led

1:11:11to failure or it led to rejection or it

1:11:13led to heartbreak or it led to judgment.

1:11:16So we need to break down those walls.

1:11:18And how we break down those walls is

1:11:19just acknowledging that yeah, I've been

1:11:21through things where, you know, I did

1:11:23feel hurt or I did feel judged or I did

1:11:25feel rejected and now I'm creating a new

1:11:28story for myself that it's safe to let

1:11:30in this compliment. It's safe to receive

1:11:32love. It's safe to receive money,

1:11:33whatever it might be. And I'm practicing

1:11:35receiving that in the present moment

1:11:37when it shows up. And if that judgment

1:11:39or that resistance around receiving it

1:11:41comes up, I'm aware of it. I'm

1:11:42practicing awareness. And I'm not going

1:11:44to let that define how I show up. I'm

1:11:46choosing again from a more empowered

1:11:47place. So, it's those micro moments of

1:11:50noticing how you're responding and then

1:11:52choosing again from a more empowered

1:11:53place.

1:11:54>> Yeah. And then you talked about walking

1:11:56and talking and being as if you are that

1:12:00version of yourself. Like how how does

1:12:02someone because because I believe

1:12:04there's a book called Be Your Future

1:12:05Self Now. Um I think it's Ben Hardy and

1:12:07I really embodied that. It's like the

1:12:09fake it to make it principle but you're

1:12:11really truly embodying that. Like how

1:12:13does someone wake up and say, "I've got

1:12:16these massive goals like I want to go be

1:12:19an actress, an actor, a race car driver,

1:12:21like whatever their goals are." How do

1:12:23they get up and every day walk, talk,

1:12:25and be as if they are that person?

1:12:28>> Yeah. So, there's where you are now and

1:12:31there's where you want to be. And

1:12:32there's usually a gap, right, of from

1:12:35where you are to where you want to be.

1:12:36And you're talking about closing the

1:12:38gap. And most people think that they

1:12:40have to wait to close the gap. But you

1:12:43know what we're saying in this is you

1:12:45don't have to wait. So whatever you want

1:12:47in life, there's associated core

1:12:49feelings with that. So whatever it might

1:12:52be for you. So for me, for example, I

1:12:55wanted to be a worldrenowned facilitator

1:12:59and support people with breakthroughs,

1:13:01support people to heal their

1:13:02relationship with the past, to empower

1:13:04people, and to support them to create

1:13:06what they want. when I was training, you

1:13:08know, like 10 years ago, there was a

1:13:10huge gap between where I was and where I

1:13:13wanted to be. So, to close that gap,

1:13:16what is the version of you that's

1:13:18already created what you want? How do

1:13:20they feel? How do they think? How do

1:13:22they show up? How do they how do they

1:13:24behave? What are those core desired

1:13:26feelings? Maybe it's confidence. Maybe

1:13:28it's a sense of empowerment. Maybe it's

1:13:30a sense of feeling worthy, of feeling

1:13:32whole, of feeling like

1:13:35really aligned with who you want to be.

1:13:37Whatever those core desired feelings

1:13:39are, once you identify them, then you

1:13:41can practice trying them on and letting

1:13:43them now. So, as you go about your day,

1:13:46I'm walking as the version of me that's

1:13:49already embodying my future, connected

1:13:51to these desired feelings. I'm

1:13:53practicing feeling confident. I'm

1:13:56practicing feeling like

1:13:58I'm in alignment. I've created this. I'm

1:14:01capable. I'm enough. I'm worthy.

1:14:03Whatever it is, I'm trying it on. I'm

1:14:05letting it in. I'm in the new story. And

1:14:07I'm not waiting. I'm in trying to embody

1:14:09it now. I'm practicing embodying it now.

1:14:12And I'm then looking at that version of

1:14:14me. And how do they think? How do they

1:14:16show up? How are they behaving? Are my

1:14:19actions in the present moment aligned

1:14:21with that? And if they're not aligned

1:14:23with that, how can I create a shift to

1:14:25be more aligned with that version of me?

1:14:27Obviously, this is going to create take

1:14:29some self inquiry, some, you know, inner

1:14:32reflection. But when you reflect on the

1:14:34version of you that's already created

1:14:36what you want to create, then you can

1:14:38start to imagine, you can start to play

1:14:40with, you know, how do they think, how

1:14:42do they feel, how do they behave? And

1:14:44that could be through visualization, it

1:14:46could be through meditation, it could be

1:14:47through breath work, it could be through

1:14:49journaling, it could be through self-

1:14:50inquiry. But you're identifying those

1:14:53things. And then the embodiment piece is

1:14:56yeah, you're not waiting. Even though

1:14:58you haven't created that yet, you're

1:15:00connected to the version of you who has

1:15:02and you're embodying those feelings now.

1:15:05And that's the piece. You're taking

1:15:06action from there, you know, and that's

1:15:08a different place to take action from

1:15:10because yeah, you feel more empowered.

1:15:11You feel more connected to the part of

1:15:14you that's already done it, already

1:15:16figured it out, and you're connected to

1:15:18your creative mind rather than being in

1:15:20your survival programming that will have

1:15:22you believe that you're separate from

1:15:23that. That you're not there and you're

1:15:26not supported and you might be focusing

1:15:28on worst case scenarios or what you

1:15:31don't have or what's missing in your

1:15:33life when you're in your survival

1:15:35programming. That's a different way of

1:15:37operating than connecting to your future

1:15:40self and embodying it now. and taking

1:15:41action from that place where you're

1:15:43feeling more empowered and more lit up

1:15:45and more inspired and you're amplifying

1:15:47those um those internal feelings and

1:15:49you're showing up as that. Now, it's

1:15:51yeah, you have to be delusional within

1:15:53yourself, but it's like a it's a level

1:15:56of being delusional that actually leads

1:15:58and translates to real results when

1:16:00you're applying it and when you're

1:16:02taking bold action on it. You know,

1:16:04eventually reality catches up.

1:16:06>> Eventually reality catches up. And so,

1:16:08what about the people that are just so

1:16:10overwhelmed? They see the gap. They see

1:16:11it, but it's so far away or it feels so

1:16:14far away. How do we stop getting

1:16:16overwhelmed? And how do we get out of

1:16:17our stress responses to close that gap

1:16:20to keep going or to even start doing it?

1:16:23>> Yeah, it's what we talked about becoming

1:16:25aware of your own patterns because this

1:16:27could be flight or it could be freeze,

1:16:28right? It feels so far away where I feel

1:16:31anxious around the future. I feel

1:16:33uncertainty around the future. I feel

1:16:34out of control. If I feel out of

1:16:36control, then I feel anxious. If I focus

1:16:39on worst case scenarios of things not

1:16:41going right and I it's all turning to

1:16:43[ __ ] and it's all falling apart. I'm

1:16:45feeling anxious. I'm feeling out of

1:16:46control. That's a flight response. So,

1:16:49oh, my body's registering a threat. My

1:16:51body is registering that I'm focused on

1:16:54the future in a disempowering way and I

1:16:56feel out of control. So, it's awareness

1:16:58around that, regulating your nervous

1:17:00system, pausing, interrupting the

1:17:02pattern, choosing again, choosing the

1:17:05new story based on what would feel more

1:17:06empowering. The same thing with it's so

1:17:09far away like I feel just overwhelmed. I

1:17:11I don't know where to start. You might

1:17:13go into the freeze response where you

1:17:15just you procrastinate. You don't take

1:17:17action because it feels too big. So if

1:17:19it feels too big, can we break it down

1:17:21into smaller steps? What does feel

1:17:23manageable? How can you take these small

1:17:25steps? How can you coach yourself

1:17:27through the process when you are feeling

1:17:29overwhelmed or you are feeling like,

1:17:31yeah, there's this feeling like I might

1:17:33fail or I don't know how it's all going

1:17:35to work out. Right? That's the old

1:17:36disempowering story based on the past.

1:17:38But how can you now or bas based on

1:17:41fear, but how can you now choose a new

1:17:43story? How can you choose something

1:17:44that's more empowering? And can you then

1:17:46break it down into these systematic

1:17:48small steps and just move forward and

1:17:50take action with the new story? Because

1:17:53your selft talk can either be working

1:17:55for you or against you. So becoming

1:17:57aware of how you're speaking to yourself

1:17:59and the story that you're telling

1:18:00yourself through the process of showing

1:18:02up and taking action on your goals or

1:18:03dreams is really important because your

1:18:06self-t talk if it's empowering it can

1:18:08quantum you forward in a way that not

1:18:12just taking action can't do. You need to

1:18:15align your beliefs and your nervous

1:18:16system with what you want because you're

1:18:19going to quantum forward like that. If

1:18:20you're not if your beliefs and your

1:18:22nervous system aren't aligned with what

1:18:23you want then you're going to

1:18:25self-sabotage. you're going to hold

1:18:26back. You're going to procrastinate.

1:18:28You're going to hold your back. Hold

1:18:29yourself back in some way. So, this is

1:18:32the work becoming more aware of yourself

1:18:34and what's showing up for you in the

1:18:36present moment. Meaning, you have a

1:18:38goal, you have a desire, you have

1:18:39something you're trying to create. And

1:18:41then these responses to it are are

1:18:44showing up like it might be fear, it

1:18:47might be self-doubt, it might be

1:18:48resistance. What's showing up for you in

1:18:51the present moment as you're going after

1:18:53your goals? whatever is showing up is

1:18:56what you get to work with and not allow

1:18:58it to slow you down or stop you from

1:18:59taking bold action.

1:19:01>> Yeah. There's two things for me that

1:19:02really really helped and you mentioned

1:19:04both of them. Rewriting your story,

1:19:07right? And the way that I did that was I

1:19:09wrote things down and I said them out

1:19:10loud as if I had already achieved them.

1:19:13You know, I have a top podcast in the

1:19:15world. I'm a top YouTuber in the world.

1:19:16I have all this real I had affirmations

1:19:19essentially or statements that were my

1:19:22new story as if I had already done it.

1:19:23And so in my head, out loud, speaking to

1:19:26people, saying that story out loud. I am

1:19:28this thing. I am this thing. And then it

1:19:31then it begins to be true. You're re

1:19:33rewriting your story in your brain and

1:19:34in your body. The other thing was the

1:19:37small steps.

1:19:39And actually, you help me with this a

1:19:40lot. I didn't realize how small I had to

1:19:44make the steps. We think we're already

1:19:46thinking of the next small step, but if

1:19:48I'm in freeze, and that's a common

1:19:50response for me, especially when doing

1:19:52goals, is procrastination, freezing. It

1:19:54might feel like a small step, but if I'm

1:19:56not doing it, that maybe it's not small

1:19:58enough.

1:19:59>> And so, a lot of times I tell people

1:20:00like the smallest step may be just

1:20:02writing down what you want, texting

1:20:04somebody, calling somebody, and talking

1:20:06to them. And so, if it already feels too

1:20:08big, like you said, smaller steps, and

1:20:10you might have to go way smaller than

1:20:12you think, right? because it's it's just

1:20:15so big or you're in such a stress

1:20:17response or it's so different than what

1:20:18you've been doing up to this point that

1:20:21it needs to be smaller and smaller and

1:20:22smaller.

1:20:22>> Yeah. And as you're breaking down that

1:20:24small step like you said be aware of

1:20:26your self-t talk. So when you go to make

1:20:28that small step what's the story? What's

1:20:30the internal narrative? Like are you

1:20:32telling yourself it's too hard or I'm

1:20:33going to fail or it's not going to work

1:20:35out? Because if you're aware of that

1:20:36then that's an opportunity to choose the

1:20:38new empowering story. It's like no I

1:20:40have got this. I am capable. I am going

1:20:42to do this. I am a top podcaster or

1:20:44whatever your goal is, you know, and

1:20:46whatever the new story is that you're

1:20:47creating. So, it's awareness around your

1:20:49inner dialogue and then like you said,

1:20:51breaking it down further into these

1:20:52small steps and then coaching yourself

1:20:55through the process. But to coach

1:20:57yourself through the process, you do

1:20:58have to be aware of your your self-t

1:21:00talk, your inner dialogue and know that

1:21:03yeah, there's a moment to pause. There's

1:21:05a moment to slow down for a second to

1:21:07check in with yourself. What am I

1:21:09thinking?

1:21:10How am I feeling? How am I behaving?

1:21:14Pause. Breathe. Interrupt the pattern.

1:21:17Bring acceptance to it. What do you need

1:21:20to process? Is there anything that you

1:21:21need to let go of? Yeah, maybe I've been

1:21:23in the flight response. Maybe I've been

1:21:26in freeze. Hey, I've been really focused

1:21:29on worst case scenarios. I've been

1:21:31allowing fear to dictate how I've been

1:21:33showing up. Okay, I need to shake this

1:21:35off. I need to go process that. I need

1:21:36to go for a walk. I need to go to the

1:21:38gym. I need something to interrupt the

1:21:40pattern. and then I'm going to come back

1:21:41to taking small actions again, you know,

1:21:44in that new state. So, it's something to

1:21:45help you shift your state and then you

1:21:47can choose again.

1:21:48>> Yeah. Even like when I asked you or some

1:21:51of the other people that I've had on the

1:21:52podcast,

1:21:53I I delay, I procrastinate, I avoid. And

1:21:56I have to do that. I have to ask myself

1:21:58in my head, okay, why why are you

1:22:00delaying? Why are you not doing this?

1:22:01And the story is I'm annoying them. I'm

1:22:03bothering them. They don't want to do

1:22:04this. They're going to, you know,

1:22:06they're going to judge me or whatever

1:22:08whatever the story is. But those are the

1:22:09common stories that I tell myself. And

1:22:11when I become aware of those and when I

1:22:14can retell the story and say, well, if

1:22:16I'm a top podcaster, what do I do? I get

1:22:18great guests. I get amazing people. And

1:22:20I am not scared of asking people to be

1:22:21on on my show. Right. So, it really does

1:22:24help to understand where and how you're

1:22:27you're writing that story. Yeah, that's

1:22:29a beautiful um example of the meaning

1:22:31making like the old disempowering

1:22:34meaning making that you're placing upon

1:22:35those actions or the more empowering

1:22:37meaning making that you're placing upon

1:22:39it cuz the old way is not working for

1:22:41you. It's not aligned with your goals

1:22:42and your vision and what you want to

1:22:44create but the new way is. So

1:22:46interrupting that old pattern and

1:22:48choosing again is everything. You know

1:22:49that's where we take our power back.

1:22:51>> Yeah. It's literally I get a lot of

1:22:53comfort in just the logical side of that

1:22:54of like okay my life is the way that it

1:22:58is right now because of everything that

1:23:00I've done up to this point. So now if I

1:23:02want my life to be different I get to do

1:23:04different things like just logically for

1:23:07engineers or you know right brain people

1:23:08like logically it's like oh I did all

1:23:10these things and I was this way to get

1:23:12to this point now I get to go do and be

1:23:15or be different do different and have

1:23:17different than I have in the past. So

1:23:19one of the things that I struggled with

1:23:22when I went from consulting corporate to

1:23:25becoming a content creator which is like

1:23:28my title now is a content creator is

1:23:32around my ego

1:23:34and looking like a beginner and actually

1:23:37having to admit that I want to be a

1:23:40podcaster. I want to create content when

1:23:41there's so many people with a microphone

1:23:43and so many people doing a podcast. What

1:23:45am I going to bring? Oh, and I know that

1:23:47it's not going to look great or sound

1:23:48great or be great in the beginning and

1:23:50all my friends and family and everyone's

1:23:52going to be watching this and looking at

1:23:53me as a beginner when I had achieved

1:23:56some level of success on the other side

1:23:57of my life, right? I had become this,

1:24:00you know, polished corporate Cassidy.

1:24:02Now I'm going to go do something

1:24:03completely different and look like a

1:24:05beginner. And I really identified that

1:24:07as like my ego holding me back. How does

1:24:10the ego show up for us that is

1:24:14preventing us from living our our most

1:24:16authentic life?

1:24:17>> Yeah, exactly like you said, you form an

1:24:19identity around who you think you are

1:24:21and what you think is cap what you think

1:24:22you're capable of or what you think is

1:24:24possible for you to create. And your

1:24:27identity can be working for you or

1:24:30against you. So for example, like you

1:24:32said, you form this identity of this is

1:24:34a success that I've created. This is who

1:24:36I am in this world. Now I want to go do

1:24:38this whole new thing. My identity isn't

1:24:41matching. Right? There's a lack of

1:24:42identity around being a top podcaster.

1:24:45There's a lack of identity around my

1:24:47goals, my vision, what I want to create.

1:24:50You really have to break yourself down

1:24:53and really step forward and create this

1:24:57new identity, create this new version of

1:25:00you. And it it is going to come through

1:25:02reps. It is going to come through

1:25:03practice. It is going to come through

1:25:05putting in the work. You don't get to

1:25:07master level in anything without

1:25:08practice. Right? If I want to become

1:25:10really good at playing the guitar and I

1:25:13say that this is a goal that I have and

1:25:14I speak it publicly and I tell people

1:25:16and I've never played the guitar before,

1:25:18it's going to be clunky. I'm going to

1:25:20look like a beginner. I am a beginner.

1:25:22You have to really break yourself down

1:25:24and know the process. This is the

1:25:25process to becoming masterful in any

1:25:28area of life. You start off as a

1:25:30beginner in anything that you do. And

1:25:32you get better with time. You get better

1:25:34with reps. You get better with

1:25:36consistency. You get better through

1:25:38practice, that is the process. So if

1:25:41there's resistance around that and your

1:25:43ego is holding you back because you

1:25:45don't want to look stupid or you don't

1:25:47want to look like a beginner or you

1:25:49don't want to be judged or you don't

1:25:52want to look like you're failing or you

1:25:54don't want to get it wrong, then that's

1:25:56showing where you're limiting yourself

1:25:57because all of those ideas are based in

1:26:00limitation and based on some form of

1:26:02fear of judgment or for fear fear of

1:26:04perception or fear of placing your power

1:26:07outside of you. But when you feel

1:26:09connected to your power and you know

1:26:11that you're going through an identity

1:26:13evolution, then a part of that is this

1:26:15ego evolution that you have to go

1:26:17through which is yeah I am a learner in

1:26:19this area but again what are you making

1:26:22that mean? What's the meaning that

1:26:24you're placing on it? Because inherently

1:26:26being a beginner at anything has no

1:26:28meaning on it. That's just the starting

1:26:30point. The starting point is what it is.

1:26:33But what am I making this mean about

1:26:35myself about what other people will

1:26:36perceive you know about me that that's

1:26:39everything and when we again look at the

1:26:40meaning making then you can start to

1:26:42shift that or change that or you know

1:26:44have some form of power over that but

1:26:46yeah that's the journey for all of us we

1:26:48have uh identity that we've created in

1:26:51some area where we've been successful

1:26:54and then we have a lack of identity in

1:26:56other areas where we don't have success

1:26:58and every single one of us has that like

1:27:00for for me for example when I wanted to

1:27:02step into being a really powerful

1:27:04facilitator. I had very much so a lack

1:27:07of identity in that because I hadn't

1:27:08done that before. It was new to me. It

1:27:10was a whole new industry that I was

1:27:12stepping into. I felt terrified to move

1:27:14into this industry. When I started

1:27:16working with people one-on-one, I was

1:27:17coming up against all of my own limiting

1:27:19beliefs and I was really self-conscious

1:27:22around I was making it all about me.

1:27:24Like, am I good enough? Can I do this?

1:27:27Can I create the breakthroughs for

1:27:29people? But in recognizing that I was

1:27:31making it all about me, I was missing

1:27:33the point. And the point was it's not

1:27:35about me. It's about showing up in

1:27:37service to the other other person. It's

1:27:39about getting outside of myself, getting

1:27:42beyond myself. And to get beyond

1:27:44yourself is to go beyond your own ego,

1:27:46to go your to go beyond your own

1:27:48programming and to start forming a new

1:27:51relationship with your identity to say

1:27:53that like this is what I want. and to

1:27:56start connecting to like we said there's

1:27:58a version of you if you can connect to

1:28:00them within the field that has already

1:28:02created what you want. Can you imagine

1:28:05this version of you that is empowered?

1:28:06Like for me, could I imagine this

1:28:08version of me that's an empowered

1:28:09facilitator that walks into a room with

1:28:12influential people? Can I imagine that

1:28:15version of me who feels confident, who

1:28:17feels empowered, who makes it not about

1:28:19me, who's in the present moment, who has

1:28:21no agenda, who is not trying to get

1:28:23anything, who can just contribute and

1:28:25give. I can imagine that version of me.

1:28:27Okay, can I embody them? How do they

1:28:29think? How do they feel? Now I get to

1:28:30show up and practice showing up as that

1:28:32version of me. So that's what I did. And

1:28:34you know, that's what supported me over

1:28:36time. And you know, there's days where

1:28:39you feel like it's easier and you can

1:28:43you can move into that space and there's

1:28:45other days where you just feel so far

1:28:46away from that and you feel like it's

1:28:50the gap between where you are and where

1:28:52you want to be just feels huge. It feels

1:28:54like there's no amount of steps that are

1:28:57going to get you there. And you feel it

1:28:58there can be that feeling of

1:29:02really feeling like imposttor syndrome

1:29:05or just feeling like it's not going to

1:29:08happen. And what's really helped me

1:29:11through that process is to become aware

1:29:14of

1:29:15I call it ascension and dissension. And

1:29:19you know, we can break it down, but

1:29:20ascension is that feeling of feeling

1:29:23connected to possibility. Um, treating

1:29:26yourself with love, compassion, and

1:29:27kindness. Feeling open, feeling

1:29:29receptive, feeling like life is

1:29:31supporting you. Feeling like you're open

1:29:32to opportunities. You feel aligned with

1:29:35your goals. You feel like you're

1:29:36empowered. And then dissension is the

1:29:38opposite. Feeling separate, feeling

1:29:39fear, feeling doubt, feeling lack of

1:29:42inability to do something. It's just

1:29:44feeling disconnected from your own

1:29:46power. And each of us at this time on

1:29:48the planet are oscillating between

1:29:49different states of ascension and

1:29:51dissension on a daily basis. So anytime

1:29:54you're in a state of dissension and you

1:29:55you don't believe in yourself and you're

1:29:57having a day where you just feel

1:29:59disempowered and there you are

1:30:01ruminating on fears or doubts or

1:30:03resistance and you find yourself in that

1:30:05place then using the four-step process

1:30:07you know of just awareness, acceptance,

1:30:10authentic processing and then moving to

1:30:12ascension where you're choosing the new

1:30:14story can be really helpful. But I think

1:30:16knowing that we all go through this,

1:30:17every successful person has to go

1:30:19through fears, has to go through doubt

1:30:21and resistance in these stages of like

1:30:23just things not working out, feeling

1:30:25really far away from everything they

1:30:27want to achieve, you know. So that's a

1:30:29normal part of the process for every

1:30:30single person. You have to be okay with

1:30:33that and you have to be okay that you

1:30:35are going to fail. Fail. Failure is a

1:30:36part of the process. You can't be afraid

1:30:38to fail. Every successful person has had

1:30:41doors slammed in their face. They've

1:30:43said, people have told them no so many

1:30:46times. Things haven't worked out. Things

1:30:47have fallen apart. That's the process of

1:30:50becoming successful. You know,

1:30:52>> that is the process of becoming

1:30:53successful is

1:30:56being the future version of yourself.

1:30:58Doing the things that are required,

1:31:01getting as many nos as it takes to be so

1:31:04confident and comfortable in who you are

1:31:06and the purpose that you're aligned on

1:31:09that nothing else matters other than who

1:31:10you're being. to then create exactly

1:31:13what you want to create.

1:31:14>> Yeah. Because that's all you have

1:31:15control over. All you have control over

1:31:17is your state of being and your inputs.

1:31:19You don't have control over how you're

1:31:21perceived and what other people are

1:31:23thinking about you and the results.

1:31:25Ultimately, you have a certain control

1:31:27over the results, but ultimately not

1:31:30entirely. It's outside your control.

1:31:32There's things that you can focus on.

1:31:33There's things that you can do. There's

1:31:34things that you can take action on, but

1:31:36there's other things that you have to

1:31:37surrender, which a lot of that is the

1:31:40timing and the how. Because you don't

1:31:42know how it's all going to work out. You

1:31:43don't know in what timing things are

1:31:45going to show up. There's things that

1:31:46you can't understand yet. People are

1:31:48going to come into your life that aren't

1:31:50into your life yet. Doors and

1:31:51opportunities are going to open that

1:31:53haven't opened yet, and you you don't

1:31:55know how that's going to happen, and

1:31:57you're not meant to. But what you can

1:31:58control is your state of being, like you

1:32:00said, the way you're showing up. um

1:32:03those inputs, breaking down those small

1:32:05goals and um just taking action from an

1:32:07aligned state and then anytime you feel

1:32:10off, you feel misaligned, you feel

1:32:11stuck, then doing the work to create

1:32:14that shift. And it's going to be moment

1:32:17by moment, you know, making those shifts

1:32:19when things come up. Because it's easy

1:32:21to feel empowered when things are

1:32:23working out and things are flowing. But

1:32:25what about when things aren't working

1:32:26out, when there's roadblocks or when

1:32:28things just totally fall away or when a

1:32:31door opens and then it slams in your

1:32:33face? You know, these are times where

1:32:34you have to work the tools and work the

1:32:36steps and then come back to your center

1:32:38and choose again and keep, you know,

1:32:40reprogramming in the new story and keep

1:32:42stepping forward and taking aligned

1:32:43actions.

1:32:44>> Yeah. cuz your ability to come back from

1:32:47those quote unquote failures or your

1:32:48ability to shorten the breakdown,

1:32:52shorten the anger, the stress response,

1:32:55because it's going to happen. It's all

1:32:56going to happen. But your ability to

1:32:58shorten it is what will allow you to

1:33:01continue at a more rapid pace, a more

1:33:03fulfilling pace, too, right? I used to

1:33:05get triggered. I would get upset. I

1:33:06would get sad. I would get depressed

1:33:08about things. And I could be out for a

1:33:10day, two days, three days off of one

1:33:12thing. And now after going through this

1:33:14work, my breakdowns either don't exist,

1:33:18you know, or they are way less frequent

1:33:20and they're much shorter. So something

1:33:22could happen in the morning, you know,

1:33:23let's say you get an argument with your

1:33:24wife or your husband in the morning that

1:33:25might take you out all day. You got a

1:33:27meeting to go to, you got an important

1:33:28thing, you got a podcast, whatever

1:33:30you're doing, and it might take you out

1:33:31the whole day. now able to shorten the

1:33:34breakdown in the morning, have a

1:33:37resolution, feel love, give love, and

1:33:39then just be in your future self

1:33:42throughout the day and the rest of the

1:33:43week.

1:33:44>> 100%. Being connected to your most

1:33:45empowered self in the now, in the

1:33:48present moment, and that's how your

1:33:49breath can help you to take control of

1:33:50your physiology, change your state,

1:33:52choose again, empower yourself with the

1:33:54new story, regulate your nervous system,

1:33:56do all those things. And yeah, that's

1:33:57what it is. It's the same for me. You

1:33:59know, I still have moments of being

1:34:01triggered, being upset. Obviously, my

1:34:03stress response is coming up on a daily

1:34:05basis, all of those things. I just don't

1:34:07stay in that state where I'm

1:34:09disconnected from myself. I'm aware of

1:34:11it. I interrupt it. I choose again and I

1:34:13come back to my most empowered self and

1:34:15then I take action from that. And that's

1:34:17what the work has allowed me to do. It's

1:34:19like I'm not perfect. I'm a work in

1:34:20progress just like every single other

1:34:22person, just like you are, just like the

1:34:24most successful people in the world are.

1:34:26But having this awareness around

1:34:28yourself and knowing how to interrupt

1:34:30your own patterns and choose again is

1:34:32how you become masterful and how you

1:34:34take control of your state and how you

1:34:35take control of your state then

1:34:37influences how you showing up your

1:34:39behavior and ultimately your results. So

1:34:41this is what we all get to do through

1:34:43practicing the work. And breath work is

1:34:45just one tool. It's one part of the work

1:34:47because it really supports you to take

1:34:49control of your autonomic nervous system

1:34:51to regulate your nervous system and

1:34:53ultimately slow down and become more

1:34:56present and aware of yourself.

1:34:57>> Lucas, I could talk to you for another 3

1:34:59hours and this has been absolutely

1:35:01incredible. How can people work with

1:35:04you? How can they get in touch with you?

1:35:05>> Yes, so we're running events, you know,

1:35:07all around the US and we're also working

1:35:09online. So, we have different programs

1:35:12coming up next year that we're doing

1:35:14year-long programs. So, people can go on

1:35:16our website, awaken.com. It's oke.com

1:35:20and check it out. Um, other than that,

1:35:22yeah, just we'll be around where you'll

1:35:24see us doing an event and if you want to

1:35:26pop into an event and do your thing,

1:35:28then please do.

1:35:29>> Yeah, we'll put all your social media

1:35:30stuff in in the description. Um, you

1:35:32have your app, right? You've got your

1:35:34daily practice that you do. The live

1:35:36events are absolutely incredible,

1:35:37life-changing stuff. and I went through

1:35:41uh your other your other program, the

1:35:43shift, and uh we got to work one-on-one

1:35:45together, and that was something that

1:35:47just completely broke me through. So, I

1:35:48encourage everybody, if you've never

1:35:50done breath work, even if you have, if

1:35:52you're searching for something, if

1:35:54you're going and doing mushroom trips or

1:35:56these other modalities like Lucas talked

1:35:58about, come and talk to Lucas, go go

1:36:01sign up and go through this and there's

1:36:02going to be some life-changing stuff on

1:36:03the other side. So, Lucas, thank you so

1:36:05much for being here. Let's go. Thank you

1:36:06for having me.

1:36:07>> Yes.

The systems behind these conversations — the deal underwriting, the tax strategy, the operators doing it live — are in Escape Velocity.

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